


A Lost Lover

by chaucer345



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-06-06 12:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6753343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaucer345/pseuds/chaucer345
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judy always knew that Nick Wilde had a checkered past, and the idea of him having spent time behind bars certainly crossed her mind. He was a fox after all, and the world treated them like criminals waiting to happen. Of course, what she didn't realize was that another fox she knew went to the big house, someone who Nick helped, and who was more than just a friend to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Story

"Okay... Do you want to go over the flashcards again?" I asked, staring up at Nick.

He rolled his eyes. "Carrots, I can name all of your siblings alphabetically and backwards. Here, I know what will help you relax."

He started stroking my ears. Slowly, delicately.

I crooned into his lap as he massaged me. The other train passengers were probably staring, but for the life of me I couldn't care. Who knew fox laps were so comfy?

I shook myself. "Dangit! Stop trying to distract with cuddles."

"Well I can't distract you with sex, there are children on the train."

I blushed crimson. "Nick, this is serious." I put a paw on his arm. "I really want my family to like you..."

He sighed, putting his paw down. "Judy, interspecies relations aren't that weird, and the number of skeletons in my closet is pretty small... for a fox."

I winced. "Nick, what have I told you about internalized speciesism?"

He tilted his head. "You say things? I admit don't usually listen when you're being adorable"

I smirked. "Are there times when I'm not adorable?"

"I'll let you know if it ever happens."

I nestled down and looked up at his cute little muzzle. "Why am I so nervous...? I swear by all that's holy it's not the fox thing."

He shrugged. "I mean, this is the first time you've brought anyone home right?"

I sighed. "It's the first time I've had anyone to take home period"

His eyes widened. "Wait, Carrots, are you seriously telling me I'm your first love?"

I smiled. "I suppose I've had crushes before," I took his paw in mine, feeling the soft pads there so different, and so new. "But nothing like this. There's no one in the world like you."

Nick sniffed. "Damn it Carrots you're going to make my head grow thirty sizes."

"Don't worry sweetie, it can't get any bigger."

He snorted, tousling my fur in revenge. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't been in love for nearly a decade. Not since a certain incident that landed me behind bars."

I raised an ear, curious. "Huh?" I knew he'd been briefly imprisoned for drug possession (a very small amount of marijuana that should not have landed him in jail in a just world), but he hadn't talked about it all that much. "Did you fall in love with a dealer or..." I narrowed my eyes. "You didn't seduce the judge did you?"

He snorted. "I wish. Nah it's... Well." He blushed. "Did I ever mention I was bisexual?"

It had come up in passing before, but I couldn't see what that... I blanched. "You had a prison wife?"

Nick scratched at the back of his head. "I mean, I didn't call him that obviously. He was just another fox I shared a cell with. He was a lot more... bruiser, than I was. He was in for two years for assault and I had no idea how we ended up sharing a cell. At first I gave him a wide berth, but then..."

He looked off, out the window. "I found him crying one night, his paws bloody from some scuffle or whatever... He told me he was a bad person, and he didn't know how to get better."

He blushed, but oddly he was smiling. "I guess after that I found myself comforting him, and he protected me. He'd sneak sugar out of the kitchen and make little candies for me. I tried my best to get him into the in-system counseling programs and we... We were intimate. It wasn't instant, but it happened from time to time, after lights out. We didn't talk about it, but... We smiled about it. If that makes sense."

I kept waiting for a pang of shock or jealousy to hit me, but it just sort of... Didn't. It wasn't what I expected to hear, but it fit with the fox I knew. "So... What happened?"

He sighed. "What do you think happened Carrots? I got released and the guy had another year and a half. The whole 'locked up partner' relationship thing never seemed to work for any of the inmates who tried it, so we agreed to part ways." 

He looked cold for a moment. Then he looked down at me and smiled. "It all worked out in the end for me though." He gave me a nuzzle. "I found someone almost as good."  
I punched him in the arm. "Did you ever find out what happened to him?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not after prison it seemed best if we didn't talk. I like to think he found some peace though. I think he was on the right path."

I gave his stomach a nuzzle. "Sounds to me like you helped him get there."

He scratched the back of my ears. "I sure hope so."

He smiled down at me and I luxuriated in his presence. "Any other mysterious exes I should know about?" I asked, leaning my head into his paw.

He put a paw to his chin. "Well, there was this mysterious older rabbit named Stu, but it was purely physical."

I poked him in the stomach. "You are a butt, Nicholas P. Wilde."

"So that's why you like staring at me..."

#

After what felt like ages, the train came to a stop. The view on the ride out of Zootopia was far less spectacular than the one into it, so I'd spent most of the time snoozing on top of Nick.  
It still felt a bit odd, coming home after living in the city for so long. I was getting used to the tight confines of the city streets and the rich smells of a thousand different types of animal. Urban living had its downsides, but even before I went there, I knew I was a city bunny at my core. 

Still, being in the country had its own charm in small doses. It was less claustrophobic when you wandered the fields, and more cozy when you snuggled down in the burrows. Plus I was surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. That part was pretty awesome.

Nick passed me my suitcase and he flung a far too big duffel on his back. I'd tried to tell him we were only here for a week and we had plenty of things at the house, but he insisted on bringing enough supplies for a small, tie clad army.

He wouldn't even let me carry it for him. I think my sweet, masculine fox was trying to prove something... Despite the fact that we both knew I could out-bench him.  
When we hopped off the train, my parents were there to greet us. I bounded up to them and gave them a great big hug. "Mom! Dad!"

They hugged me back. "Hey there Jude the Dude!" Dad said, "Glad you could make it out."

I waved a paw. "Bogo practically begged us to take off. We hadn't taken any vacation days in ages. How have you been!" 

My mom smiled. "Oh, you know how it is out here. It's always a bit hectic in the summer. Still the crop this year looks to be quite the bumper, and your siblings have been staying out of trouble for the most part."

I smiled. "Great to hear. I think Nick is... Oh!" Nick was struggling to get his duffel out the medium sized train door. I joined him and gave it a hearty yank. 

It popped free in an instant.

He stared at me. I patted him on the back. "We'll say you loosened it for me."

Mom looked a little shocked at my other half's baggage. "Oh my, lucky we came prepared. Gideon! Could you come down here please?"

To my surprise, my parents' new business partner wandered over with a dolly. "Howdy Judy! Your parents thought you might need some help with..." He froze, staring at Nick.

I blinked. Nick was staring back.

For a moment everything was silent.

Then Nick whispered. "Giddy...?"


	2. The Quiet Room

Nick

"Giddy?" The whisper rang in my head. I felt like I was staring down a ghost. 

A thousand memories started rolling through my mind. Terrible memories, a horrible situation... And happiness, mixed in with all the horrors.  
Gideon stared back at me. He'd gained some weight, and he'd done something dorky with his fur cut... But he was clean and the extra weight had given him a bit of a nurturing look. His arms were the same. I remembered those strong arms holding me. All those nights...

"Nick?" He asked back. It felt like a prayer. I wanted nothing more than to run up and hug him. To cry into his arms and tell him how much I'd missed him...

And then Judy touched my arm.

It snapped me back to reality. "Uh... I... Hi! Gideon. Hi... Mr. and Mrs. Hopps. Great... Uh something." I could feel the hustler inside me facepalm.

Mrs. Hopps tilted her head, more than a bit lost. "Do... Do you two know each other?"

Gideon finally spoke up. "Uh... Yeah! Beggin' your pardon for the awkwardness Mrs. Hopps. Uh... Hey Nick." He put on that smile he always wore when he wanted to hide how tense he was. It was very, very easy to see through.

To be honest, I doubt my smile back was much better.

Carrots cleared her throat. "So... Mom, Dad, would you mind if we snagged your business partner and headed to the nearest quiet room for a bit? I think we need to clear the air." 

Stu scratched at the back of his neck. "Uh... I mean, I kinda have a few dozen of your brothers and sisters waiting in the hay wagon..."

What's a hay wagon? A distant part of me wondered. It was the part that wasn't staring at my lost lover and still trying to get past. 'Buwuh?'

I felt Judy take hold of my paw. "I... I think we need to deal with this before we deal with that. I'm really sorry. Could you maybe apologize to them and tell them I'll be by to see them soon?"

The Hopps were lost. Stu had a slowly growing look of horror on his face, presumably imagining the effects of the let down. Her mother spoke up. "I suppose we could make this work dear, but would you mind telling me what's going on?" 

The tension in her voice was palpable, but I barely noticed. Gideon... Here...

Judy grabbed my hand and Gideon's and started trudging us somewhere. "I'll let you know when I figure it out."

#

Judy's burrow was something of a marvel, as I supposed it would have to be to house over three hundred rabbits. I wasn't exactly in a solid state to take in the scenery, but I know I passed several kitchens, bedrooms and even a communal swimming pool at one point. I guess that many people worth of labor adds up.

The "Quiet room" was a cramped room in one of the branches of Judy's burrow with two couches, a table, and a bookshelf containing an assortment of things including a pile of puzzles and stuffed animals.

"Uh... Carrots?" I managed, finally finding my tongue. "What is this place?"

Judy shot me a nervous smile. "It's a sound proofed room where we take folks who are immersed in some form of drama. With a family as big as mine it comes in handy."

"So..." Gideon began, "Beggin' your pardon Judy, but are y'all treatin' us like angsty children?"

"Yes." She replied, then followed my gaze to the stuffies. "Nick, do you want the owl?"

"Yes please." Right now I needed something to squeeze, and if I used Judy she'd pop.

"C-can I have the squid?" Gideon mumbled with a blush so bright it showed through his fur.

I grit my teeth. Damn it, he's still adorable.

She passed out our fluffy companions. Then, after a moment's thought, selected a frog for herself. We all sat down around the table, just sort of cradling our stuffed animals and staring. 

I didn't know how today could possibly get any weirder. 

"So..." Judy began, "What was prison like for you two?"

And now it was weirder.

"Hard." Gideon replied, gripping his pillowy squid just a bit too tightly. "I... I guess y'all know about the assault charges huh?"

Judy nodded. "I guess I never asked about what happened to you after you dropped out... Who did-?"

"Some random otter in a bar." He replied. "I threw one punch at him, and he pressed, Honestly I've done way worse and ain't gotten no punishment." He looked down. "I probably should have been in there longer."

Okay, that got me talking. I narrowed my eyes. "Giddy, you are not someone who needs to be locked away! We've talked about this a million times. Seriously, I leave for a few years and you go right back to beating yourself up all the time?"

The larger fox's eye twitched. "A few years? Nick it's been nearly a decade! No calls, no letters..."

Oh he was not pulling that crap. I glared at him. "YOU were the one who said we should split. YOU were the one who thought it would be better. What, you wanted me to go, but not go? I can't-"

"Nick I loved you!" He said, tears building up in his eyes. "I said we should split because y'all were better off without some convicted felon holdin' your heart... I just... I wanted you to have a good life."

I growled. My mind was running a mile a minute and I felt my hackles raising. "That doesn't make it... Giddy you were everything to me! We could have made it work. We could have tried..."

There was something rolling down my cheek. I was shaking.

Judy touched my paw. "Do you want to take a walk Nick?"

I sputtered. "What? No! I want to get to the bottom of this I want to find out why this... this..." I gestured at Gideon. He looked... shattered.

And Carrots... Her eyes were wide as she stood there, shaking. Oh gods...

I was just telling an ex how dumb it was for us to break up, right in front of the girl I loved.

I pulled Judy into a hug on instinct. "Judy you know I love you right? So, so much! You're my best friend and I feel like a better person around you and this is your day... and..."  
I had no idea what I was doing.

Judy hugged me back, wrapping me in her impossibly soft fur.

"Nick it's okay." She said, stroking my back. "I don't... I don't know a lot of this relationship stuff, but I know you're not going to randomly dump me... Especially not right after I took you to meet my parents. That'd be a dick move. Even for you."

She slid out from my arms, taking my paw in hers and squeezing it, maybe just a little too tight. "So," She began. "Gideon, is there anything you'd like to say in response?

He gripped his squid. I winced. I couldn't help it, he was obviously in pain. "I... I'm sorry if I hurt you Nick. I never meant to drive you away for good, I just... I knew you were smart, going up. You were gonna, do great things and I didn't want to get in the way."

I climbed over the table, taking his paw in mine. "Gideon, you were never a burden. You were one of the few people in my life who cared about me. Let's make it absolutely clear, You. Were. Amazing."  
But is he still? Came a thought. I looked around us, two foxes in a bunny burrow. Somehow Gideon had befriended a huge number of people that had every reason to fear him. Somehow he'd showed them his noble side. The side I saw locked away so long ago. 

I smiled. "And for the record, I think you did pretty okay."

He chuckled. The tears were still in his eyes, but his smile was real. "You always did know just what to say, didn't you?"

I patted his knee. "You made it easy." I frowned. Honestly he had a point. I scratched at the back of my neck. "Listen, Gideon, I'm really sorry I never called."

The larger fox shrugged. "Eh... To be honest if I was so broken up about it, I probably should have dug through the fear and called you. I had a phone too."

I smirked, making my way back to Judy's side, snagging my owl back. He had a point. "Yeah... Seriously Gids, I love you and all, but sometimes you're a little thi..."

I slammed my mouth shut, realizing what I just said. I froze. He did too.

Judy sighed. "We need more stuffies."


	3. Dating

Judy

I took a deep breath. "Okay, let's just sit down and figure this out like adults."

I couldn't help but feel that was a less effective pronouncement when I was snuggled up in a huge pile of stuffies, but you work with what you have.

Nick was staring down at me, unsure whether to hug me or leave me be. I had no idea which I preferred, so it was good that we were on the same page.

"Nick..." Gideon said, looking hopeful, but lost. "Did... Did y'all really mean that?"

It was the question of the hour.

My favorite fox's face went through several emotions all at once until he finally sighed. "No..."

I... I actually felt kind of sad hearing that. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why though.

Gideon... Okay, you could actually pinpoint the moment when his heart broke. He didn't cry, or freak out, but his expression went cold. "Oh... I guess that was just an old habit or-"

"Giddy please let me finish!" Nick pleaded. "It's not because... It's because I don't actually know you anymore okay?" He wrung his paws, looking at the floor. "You... If anything you seem to have gotten _better_ since I last saw you, but you've definitely changed. Yes, in all honesty there's still a part of me that's in love with you, but that's past you, not present you and..."

He turned to me. Suddenly the wall of stuffies seemed paper thin. "I'm not about to abandon Judy for you. I'm sorry, I know we still have... something, but she's way too important."

I was about to breathe a sigh of relief and put this whole thing behind us, but then I noticed something.

_Don't ever let them see that they get to you..._

The pain he felt saying that was subtle, Nick was extremely hard to read... but he was not okay. Not even a little.

I emerged from my cocoon and hugged Nick's side. "Nick, you..." I paused. What was I about to say? Clearly he still wanted Gideon, but there was no way he could be monogamous with me and explore his connection with Gideon at the same-

It hit me. I got a huge grin on my face. "We don't have to be monogamous!"

The foxes' faces were a study.

My grin receded. That had come out way blunter than I anticipated. "I mean... Nick, I get that you want to be with me, and don't get me wrong, I'm super extra glad about that, but that doesn't mean you have to have to give up a chance to reclaim lost love. You know, be with Gideon and see how it goes? I mean," I turned to the fox baker who was staring at me like I'd grown a second head. "if you would be okay with us both dating him, I would."

That fox was _lost_. I swear, I  could see the error message floating over his head 'Gideon.exe has stopped working. Would you like to file a report?' "You..." he said finally, "Y'all can _do_ that?"

I blinked. "Um... I mean, yeah. I mean even my dad had a couple of bunnies that he dated on the side that my mom was okay with. Heck, Aunt Sally even..." I thought back to my relationship with that woman and found myself frowning. She'd been a lot of things to me growing up. She was the one who sewed my police uniform for the school play and had been one of the few people to help me along in my dreams.

And we'd all stopped talking to her when she married a mole.

It... It had never occurred to me how messed up that was. I was calling her after this. "My aunts were important to me. I think Mom still plays bridge with some of them. The point is, it's not crazy. It's just a different way of doing things."

Gideon pondered this, and then a look of determination washed over him. He marched right up to Nick. "Nick... Would y'all like to go on a real date with me?"

Nick was speechless. "I... I..."

We were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. "Sweet Cheese and Crackers people, we need the room! Darren just came out of the closet and he's having a panic attack about it."

I blinked. _Darren finally came out? Awesome! Wait, no, panic attack, that's bad. Um..._ There was only one quiet room in this branch and I sensed we had a lot more to resolve. "Uh, Steve..." I shouted back to my brother. "We're kind of in the middle of something here..."

"Judy, you've been in there for two hours!" Steve shouted back. "Seriously! How long does it take to have a three way?"

I blushed, "We're not... Oh, fine." It was time to cut the crap. I turned to the Foxes. "Nick, do you want to go out with him?"

He blinked. "Um... I mean, I think so. Yes."

"Then do it!" I snapped, the strain of our time here was finally getting to me. I took a deep breath. "Now come on, my family is getting antsy."

Then I grabbed him by the tie, and hauled him out of there.

#

Gideon

My truck pulled away from the Hopps' burrow. I was driving on autopilot to be honest.

Usually the cool night air and the millions of stars would soothe me as I wandered down the old country road. There wasn't much traffic at this time of night, and I'd mostly just let my mind wander, finding peace in the cool night air.

Tonight that didn't really work. My mind was way too jumbled. "Damn it, Nick..."

"You rang, Giddy?" Came Nick's voice from the passenger seat.

I sighed. He wasn't the real Nick of course, just someone I'd made up to keep me company. He was younger than the real nick too, and wearing prison duds. The eyes were the same though. And the smile.

Since I knew he wasn't real and all, my therapist actually said he was "a healthy manifestation of my internal family" whatever that meant.

Personally I thought my therapist was even kookier than me.

Imaginary Nick leaned up against my shoulder. "You don't seem so thrilled to be reunited with physical me. What's the matter? Have I gotten fat?"

I snorted. "I'm the one that did that. Too much frosting. Nah, he looks just as fine as he used to, it's just... Him, here with Judy?"

He nodded, sagely (which was impressive as it was hard to look wise in a tan jumpsuit). "I don't see what your complaining about. Your two biggest crushes, sharing a bed..." He waggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes (while doing my best to keep them on the road, I didn't wanna hit nobody). "That ain't the point Nick. I... and I asked him out, but I don't know if it was the right call. I felt like I _needed_ to, like I wouldn't have the chance to see him ever again if I didn't jump before Judy changed her mind... And us _sharing_ him? Lord in heaven does that girl have a cockamamy scheme cooked up."

Nick narrowed his eyes. "What's so cockamamy about it? Do you still have problems with non-traditional relationships?"

I winced. It was something I talked about with my therapist a lot. You think my being bi would make it easy to realize that love is love and where you find it just don't matter, but prejudice was hard to quash completely, especially the subtle stuff. Plus, my dad had ground that junk into me for a long damn time. That and a lot of other crap.

"It's not that, its..." I groaned. Hunching against the steering wheel. "I don't want to steal from Judy. I've hurt her too much already."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Uh... Giddy, I'm pretty sure that you can't steal from a person by accepting something they gave you."

"It is if I forced her to give it to me." I slumped back against my seat. "I mean, I feel like we put her on the spot, and I know we tried to be reasonable and all, but Nick was there and she didn't want to disappoint him... Not that I could imagine losing me being dissapointing."

Nick groaned. "Okay, now you're just beating yourself up... But I get your point about putting her on the spot. Why don't you just ask her?"

 I stared at him. That... "You think that'll work?" It couldn't possibly be that simple could it?

He shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. The question is, do you want to be the person who asks?"

It was a mantra. Something the real Nick taught me, when we were locked in a cage oh so long ago. _Who do you want to be Gideon? Who do you want to be?_

I turned the truck around. No sense letting this fester.

#

Judy

_"You have reached the voice mailbox of 346-555-5309, please leave a message after the tone."_

*Beep*

I cleared my throat. "Hi Aunt Sally! It's Judy. Judy Hopps... I just wanted to check in, see how you were doing... You know... Anyway sorry if this is a wrong number, bye!"

*Click*

I sighed. It was the fourth number I'd tried and there was only one of them I knew was wrong. I really hated it when people didn't put their names in their voice mail recordings.

I was above the burrow, getting what fresh air and wireless signal I could in the fields, while Nick tidied up downstairs. Honestly once we'd resolved that whole Gideon mess, the rest of the trip seemed to be going pretty well. Also Darren had calmed down and the family LGBT group was keeping him company so that little crisis was well in hand.

Those parts were easy. Dealing with the fact that I was still a horrible person who abandoned her loving aunt just because everyone else was doing it? Not so much.

I wasn't left with my thoughts for long. Of all things, Gideon's truck, which had left ages ago, came careening back into our parking lot. The fox himself hopped out soon after, dusting himself off and eyeing the entrance to the burrow. He looked like he was bracing himself for something.

There was a part of me, the investigator part, that wanted to watch him from the shadows, to keep tabs on him and tail him until I found out exactly what he was up to...

But that was the part of me that tailed Nick when I first met him. And also the part that reached for the fox spray.

So instead, I called out to him. "Hey Gideon!"

The fox started, stumbling back. "Judy! Oh! Ah... I didn't expect you to be up here. Is... Uh... Is Nick around?"

I smirked. "Couldn't stay away huh? I can hardly blame you, you two have a lot of catching up to do."

He shook his head. "No... I mean I'd love to see Nick, but I actually wanted to talk to you... You know, about this whole. 'us both dating Nick' deal and whether you were really, truly okay with it."

I blinked at him. He came all the way back here to double check whether I was okay with the whole arrangement? It was cute, well meant... and extremely aggravating. I narrowed my eyes. "Gideon Gray, when I say something I tend to mean it."

He scratched at the back of his neck. "I know! I just... I mean, you don't have to be pressured into anything. I don't _need_ Nick to live or anythin', I just... We've shared a lot and..." He sighed. "I really like him, but I also really don't want to hurt you any more than I already have."

My expression softened. So that's what this was about. I sat down on the grass and patted the spot next to me. "Sit."

Gideon sat. More than a bit confused. I looked up at the stars, took a deep breath, and spoke. "Gideon... when you hurt me it was a long time ago, and you were a very different person. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life beating yourself up over it."

He looked down at me, lost and pained. "But I _hurt_ you. Not because you did anything wrong, just because I was pissed off that you had a dream and I didn't." He looked away. "It was stupid, ugly jealousy and it was not okay."

I smirked, sadly, "Well, no, it wasn't, but you've clearly regret it and you've worked to improve yourself." I frowned, drawing my legs close to my chest. "Besides... If anyone here should feel like crap for how they treated people, it's me."

The fox blinked at me. "Beg your pardon?"

I sighed. "Gideon, I've hurt a lot more people, a lot more recently than you. That press conference... Well, I don't know if you saw it or not, but I really said some ugly stuff and it lead to a heck of a lot more pain than anything you ever did." I thought back to the maulings that continued, the predators that were beaten, the jobs that were lost and the families shattered... So much pain. All my fault.

I suddenly felt very cold.

Gideon put a paw on my shoulder. "Judy if I know you, y'all worked dang hard to fix that. And y'all weren't _tryin'_ to hurt nobody! You just made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, the important part is that we try to fix them and stop ourselves from making them again."

I snorted, wiping my face. I hadn't been crying, but it felt right. "You have spent way too long in anger management. That was the corniest speech I've ever heard."

The fox chuckled. "I have a therapist actually, but yeah you're probably right..."

I leaned into his paw. It was warm on my shoulder. "Gideon... Do you ever feel robbed?"

He tilted his head. "How so?"

I tried to figure out a way to put it. "It's just... You're actually really sweet, and I feel like we could have been great friends growing up if it wasn't for all the speciesist crap that floated around town. And it's not just you! I was up hear calling a woman I haven't seen in six years who was really, _really_ great and I didn't even realize I was being mean to her until just freaking now!"

I slumped. "How many other people have I pushed away? How many friends have I lost because of tiny, unconscious biases?"

He squeezed my shoulder. "You just gotta treat people right and hope things work out. And... For what it's worth, I really did like you growing up." He sighed. "I just had a terrible way of showing it."

I blinked. _Wait, did he mean_ like me _like me?_ I discarded the thought. I was just being ridiculous. I smiled at him "Well, for the record, I think you turned out pretty great."

He blushed. Man he was adorable. "Thank ye' kindly Judy."

I giggled, I was starting to feel a whole lot better. "I'm going to have sooo much fun exchanging Nick stories with you."

He snorted. "Yeah, that fox sure does know how to get himself into trouble. Speaking of which, how'd the meet and greet with your parents go? He didn't-?"

We were interrupted as the fox of the hour burst through the front door to the burrow, crowd surfing on the backs of a good hundred of my siblings. Said siblings then began chanting "Long live the King! Long live the King!" and started parading him around the corn field.

Gideon stared at the crowd carrying Nick away, and I couldn't help but smirk. "He's pretty good with people. So, what are your plans for your date?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! This was a long update. I may break it into multiple chapters later. Things seem to be getting interesting though!


	4. The Bunnyburrow Superhero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick gets lost and meets more of Judy's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one ran a bit long, but I hope you like it!

Nick

Okay, I was just about at the end of my rope.

The karaoke contest had been a brilliant move, if I do say so myself. I had won, of course, and being paraded around a corn field like a rock star definitely served as a high point of the visit so far.

However, _now_ the Hopps family had gone from slightly scared of me to incredibly curious about me. It was a good thing overall, but...

"How do you avoid biting your tongue with your fangs?"

"How does Judy kiss you?"

"Can I touch your tail?"

I gave the crowd of small children an uneasy smile. "I just keep it out of the way. I either pick her up or she hops up to meet me, and..."

I sighed, slipping my tail to the side. "Go ahead..."

Instantly a small swarm of tiny bunnies had wrapped itself around my tail. It was snuggly, but also became rather... Pinchy.

Fortunately I was saved when one of Judy's older brothers came and ushered them off to bed. He gave me an apologetic look as he dragged them away.

I shot him an understanding smile and then...

Nothing.

I looked down the left tunnel. I looked down the right tunnel. Was... Was I alone in a rabbit warren?

I felt a surge of trepidation. I had no idea where I _was_. This place was a labyrinth and I had no guide... And no Judy to protect me if some of her less pred friendly siblings decided to jump me.

I gripped my paws and counted to three in my head. It was okay. The family liked me. All I had to do was walk to the nearest door, knock on it and ask for directions. Everyone was happy to give directions. It made them feel smart.

I smoothed out my fur, put on a confident stride and sauntered down through the tunnels.

The first room I bumped into was clearly a janitor's closet. A small part of me wanted to pick up a broom and use it as an improvised quarter staff for some reason, but I dismissed it and closed the door.

The second room was a bathroom. It wasn't particularly helpful, but hey! At least I would have water and a place to go  if I was trapped down here for all eternity.

The third room looked more promising. It had a bronze sign on it that read "IT Department" with a little undersign in Braille.

 _Huh, I guess this is where I go to complain about my phone signal._ Seriously, if there was ever a time for GPS it was now.

I opened the door and was instantly greeted by a sword cane to my gut.

It was held by a rabbit doe in a red dress wearing sunglasses. "I dunno who you are mother fucker, but y'all are going to sit tight while I phone the cops you hear?"

"But I am the cops!" I cried, much more shrill than I'd intended.

She tilted her head. Still not looking directly at me. "Huh? Wait a second..." She sniffed the air. "You smell like Judy. And not scared Judy either, you smell like... Happy, Hyper, Horny Judy..."

She lowered the sword. "Holy crap you're Nick aren't you?"

"Yes!" I shouted, the fear being replaced by anger. "Who the hell did you think I was!"

She groaned. "Dude, I already said I didn't know! A random guy who's walk I didn't recognize showed up outside my door late at night. I think I behaved pretty reasonably."

I folded my arms and gave her a withering look. "Oh, so the fox broke in. Of course we're all criminals so I suppose that's _fair_."

The rabbit looked pissed. "Dude! When I hear you I didn't even know you were a fox!"

"You did after you saw me!"

She yanked off her sunglasses, revealing milky white pupils.

I froze.

"I never saw you dumbass. Now kneel."

I blinked at her. "What?"

She rolled her sightless eyes. "If I want to 'see' the dude who stole my sister's heart and saved her butt all those times, I need to feel his face. Kneel down."

I grunted. "What's the magic word?" After everything she deserved a little peevishness.

She sighed. "Please."

Still a bit annoyed, but hoping to make a good impression, I knelt down and guided her paws to my face. Her paws were very soft and the experience felt oddly... intimate. Which in turn made me feel a bit creeped.

After a moment she stepped back and smiled. "You're cute. Sorry for earlier, I get a bit jumpy sometimes."

I thought of several puns about a rabbit named Hopps being 'jumpy' but I managed to restrain myself. "You're Natalie right?" The name from the flashcards had finally come to me.

She nodded. "That's me. Resident blind IT girl for the Hopps Warren. Just don't ask me to fix your monitor." She slid her sword back into her cane (it had a white tip) and I coughed.

"Uh... Hey, so... Maybe swinging that thing around isn't such a good-"

"Your tail is drooping and your ears are turned back. You're about 6 inches from the door jamb and you do not have any pudge to speak of." She said.

I blinked. "Huh?"

She pointed to her ears. "I'm a blind bunny, I'm practically  Tasmanian Daredevil."

I snorted. "If that's the case you really need to bang Froggy."

She smiled. "Everyone needs to bang Froggy. Matt does not deserve him." She deftly slid her now much safer cane over to the wall and flicked on the lights, revealing a pile of broken down electronics neatly organized on a collection of desks. There was also a much less organized desk with a couple open boxes of candy and a Braille reader equipped laptop on it. She hopped into the chair in front of said desk and gestured to her domain. "So, what brings you to the IT department?"

I blushed. "I actually got a bit lost, but while I'm here, a phone checkup would probably help. I'm... I'm not exactly getting great reception down here."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is it a Stagson?"

I blinked. "Uh... Yeah, how did you know."

She smirked. "Because their phones are crap."

I crossed my arms. "I'll have you know it has an _awesome_ display." Seriously, I paid three hundred bucks for it.

She snorted. "That's such a huge selling point for me..." She grew an evil grin on her face. "Tell you what, I might have something that can help you, but in exchange, I want to know a bit more about your recent romantic escapades."

I smirked. If she wanted to make things uncomfortable, two could play at that game. "Well, if you would like to know, in great detail, all about the things I've done with and to your sister..."

"Screw Judy, I want to hear about you and Gideon!"

All my fur stood on end. "Bu- Bwhu?" My mind was racing. "How do you know about that!?"

She pointed to her ears. "Tasmanian Daredevil remember? I keep telling them to soundproof the quiet room, but no one ever listens. So, a prison wife, huh?"

I groaned. "Will everyone stop calling him that? And if you heard the conversation, there's not really much more to say. Apparently it's normal for bunnies to be poly and now I have a really awkward date set up by my significant other."

She pulled out a soda from her desk and popped it open. "Yeah, you kind of lucked out there. Rabbit dudes are pretty much expected to have a primary lover and like six secondaries. Dad's pretty conservative with his three."

There were apparently a lot of rabbit customs I'd need to get used to. Something about her explanation nagged at me though. "Only guy rabbits?"

Natalie grimaced and let out a long breath. "Yeah... That's sort of a sticky subject in the rabbit community. Statistically everyone's got gay kids they love so that's not as much of a hangup, and dudes kind of get a free pass on poly, but..." She tapped her paw on her desk. "There's kind of... arguments about does that want to have more than one partner."

I felt suddenly a little uncomfortable. "That doesn't seem very fair."

She held up her paws defensively. "Hey, I think that's just fine, and lord knows they blab about it a lot at the LGBT meetings between planning trips to the gay bar and wishing they had a trans sibling to fill out the 'T' part."

She shuddered. "Seriously, it's kind of creepy. Not trans people, but that they'd wish gender dysphoria on a sibling. I'm not told it's fun."

I nodded. "Yeah... So, if everyone's okay with gay folks why do you even have an LGBT group in the first place?"

Natalie snorted. "Because us queer rabbits like having other queer rabbits to bitch about straight people with. I dunno, there _are_ less accepting warrens out there and sometimes we end up helping non rabbit communities and stuff. Really it's just another way to socialize though. In a given warren there's tons of organized groups. We've got the LGBT group, the gymnastics group, a group of cinephiles... Personally I find the LARPers the most entertaining."

I imagined a group of rabbits in chainmail battering each other with foam swords and couldn't help but snicker. "Sounds fun."

She offered me a cola. "It can be. But we've gone way off topic here. How do you really feel about Gideon?"

I took the drink and popped it open, using the time to ponder my response. "Honestly... I have no clue. I mean, he's definitely stayed attractive physically, but we haven't really had a chance to talk."

"Isn't that what a date is? A chance to talk?"

I took a sip of the cola. Nice bubbly, sharp, not to sweet. Natalie had good taste. "I guess so. I kind of just want it..." I shook my head, suddenly feeling very old. "I want it to be like old times, but the context is so different and we've changed so much."

She smiled wistfully. "Ah yes, a relationship that ended due to outside circumstances. The seminal tragedy. Pun intended."

I blushed. "Really, that's where this conversation is going?"

She gave me a snarky look. "Are you kidding? We haven't even gotten started! Giddy's the only fox in town and everyone in the burrow likes to speculate on how hung he is. I think there's a betting pool going..."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, seriously, you do know that there's such a thing as too big and it's not actually that big right?"

She sniggered. "Those sound like the words of a man who's lacking."

I groaned. "I wish. It would make things with Judy so mu-" I stopped, noticing what I'd just said. My blush deepened. "Uh..."

Natalie swirled her soda like a fine wine. "Well well, lucky Judy."

I rubbed at my head. "No, _not_ lucky Judy, like I said, _too big._ Honestly I'd kill to have a smaller one like Gid-" I froze. I stared at my drink. "What the heck is in this stuff?"

She grinned. "Sugar. I'm just easy to talk to. Don't worry, your secret is safe. Might I give you a bit of advice?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Not if it's sex advice."

"Ha ha, no. If you want lady pleasing lessons I charge for that. What I was going to say was if you're nervous about dating two people at once, just make sure they're both happy. Judy's probably mondo stressed right now with trying to get everyone to get along... Just let her know how much you love her."

She narrowed her sightless eyes. "You _do_ love her, right?" She sounded more serious than when she had a sword at my gut.

I gripped my drink. "More than life itself."

She smirked. "Good answer. Now..." She slid herself over to a little shelf and pulled a carrot phone out of a box. "This will work just fine down here, and it's got a built in tunnel guide app so you shouldn't get lost again."

I tilted my head. "Don't I need a sim card?"

She shook her head. "Nah, it's one of our spares. We keep them on the family plan."

She swung over to me and slipped her hand down my arm, putting the phone in my paw. "Welcome to it."

Judy

"You know he has terrible fashion sense." I said. Popping a raspberry into my mouth. Yes, I ate fruit in bed, sue me.

Gideon blushed from my phone. "Honestly I wouldn't know. I only ever saw him in a jumpsuit... Well until today when he seemed to be okay."

I snorted. "That's because I was dressing him. Don't worry, he'll bust out his Hawaiian shirts pretty soon."

The fox I grew up with smiled. "That is a pretty entertaining picture. What does he look like in a police uniform?"

I sighed, balancing my head on my hands with a smile. "Dreamy..."

He smirked, looking wistful. "Yeah... I bet he is. He always wanted to be the knight in shining armor. It's really great to hear he got to."

I nodded. More than a bit giddy (no pun intended). I was actually super tired before this all started, but talking to Gideon really brightened my day for some reason.

"Carrots!" Called Nick, hopping onto the bed and tackling me in a hug. I nuzzled him, My boyfriend was kind of a dork. "Nick! I was just setting up your date with Gideon!"

"Hi!" Gideon's waved from the phone's screen.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "You were helping him plan it?"

I nodded. "If you haven't noticed I'm rooting for you two."

Gideon smiled. "You really got yourself a keeper there Nick."

He rubbed his cheek against mine. "Don't I know it. So what is this ingenious plan?"

I cleared my throat. Prepping to present my findings. "Gideon has the day off tomorrow and I was planning to spend lunch catching up with my litter. You two are going to have a picnic out in the rolling hills of the South fields."

"If that sounds good to you...?" Gideon said sheepishly. I had to teach that guy more confidence.

Nick threw on his trademark smirk. "It sounds perfect Giddy."

Gideon smiled back. "Glad to hear! I'll let you two get some rest. Talk to y'all later Swee... Nick!" He blushed. "Uh... Talk to y'all later."

He hung up. I turned to Nick. An evil grin on my face. "He called you 'sweetie'?"

Nick groaned. "Ugh... Sometimes. Can you ease off on the interrogation though? I got enough of that from Natalie."

I smirked, punching his arm affectionately (affectionate punches were a fine art). "Oooh, so the big strong fox couldn't handle a defenseless blind bunny girl?"

He snorted. "Defenseless? Are we talking about the same rabbit?"

I snuggled into his shoulder with a yawn. "Yeah... We Hopps women are pretty tough."

He turned his head to mine, smiling. "I gathered." He kissed me. Short, but passionate. "God you're a vision Judy."

I blushed. I loved our banter, but sometimes all the snark melted away and I got to see his core. That loving, caring fox.

He kissed down the front of my shirt and I breathed out a little gasp as he realized what he was doing. "N-Nick? Now?"

He looked up at me. His eyes wide with affection. "It's just... It's been a really crazy day and I feel like I haven't had a chance to just be with _you_... Do... Do you want me to go on?"

I flushed, smiled, and nodded.

And then the night got a whole lot better.


	5. Duel at Dawn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... This got a little more action heavy than I expected. 
> 
> I recommend either of these two songs. You'll know when to play them:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkgK8eUdpAo  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwBKjK7Xik0

_Judy_

The cultural fair was in full swing and I was just dancing in the streets with excitement. "Come on Gideon! We'll be late for the play."

The little fox, (though still way bigger than me) hurried up behind me. "Sorry Judy, I just had to stop for instructions."

I raised an eyebrow. Instructions? Well, whatever, we had to hurry on stage.

We hopped onto the set and the whole crowd was already assembled. Mayor Bellwether was their too. She smiled at us. "Okay Judy! Up on the table!"

I nodded and climbed up. The other students came up to me, smiling, and strapped me down...

Wait, what? I started struggling. "Wha? What's going on! Where's the Ketchup?"

Bellwether laughed and the crowd started chanting. "Ketchup! Ketchup! Ketchup!" The sheep shook her head. "Silly Judy. We need to make the Ketchup first. Gideon are you ready?"

The little fox was looking down, twitching in his overalls. "I don't want to..."

The Mayor gave him a loving little pat on the back. "Oh Gideon, don't worry! All you have to do is say you're sorry later. Then you get your prize!"

"That's right Giddy!" Said Nick, stepping on stage. "If you want me, we'll need lots and lots of ketchup!"

The little fox nodded. Then climbed over me. He was shaking. I was shaking harder.

"I'm sorry Judy." He said.

Then his claws came out and he tore my face clean off.

#

"Ahh!" I sat bolt upright.

"Judy what's wrong?" Asked the fox next to me.

"Ahhh!" I rolled off the bed, hitting the floor hard. I threw up a paw. "S-stay... Nick?"

I blinked. Slowly where I was, who I was, and who he was came back to me.

Nick was staring down at me, a lot of concern in his eyes... And a little bit of hurt.

I ran up and hugged him tight. "Nick! Sorry... Bad dream. Really bad, stupid dream." I fingered the scars on my cheek. Nothing new, nothing bad. I was okay.

Nick returned the embrace. "Oh carrots... It's okay."

"No it's not..." I said, sniffling.

He stroked my ears. "Yes it is... Judy it was just a dream. You were scared."

I rubbed my cheek against the fur of his chest. "I don't want to be scared..."

I hugged him harder. My warm, soft fox who'd done so much for me. How could I think of him like that?

"Shh..." He said, slipping us back under the covers. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "I think I just need some sleep. Hold me?"

"Always."

#

Nick

I lay there, bleeding out on the floor, disemboweled by the woman I loved. She had an evil look of triumph on her face.

I weakly reached out to the rabbit behind me, the only witness to the putrid crime. "Please... Janet... Avenge me!"

The rabbit, a girl about college age with the hopps family's standard grey coat and a _Stoaten Universe_ shirt, blinked at me through her glasses, a look of horror on her face. She turned to Judy, an empty look in her eyes. "Judy... your boyfriend's a dork."

Judy rolled her eyes, resting her foam sword on her shoulder. "Nick, I beat you at boffer fair and square, stop being such a crybaby."

I threw out my arms in frustration. "How do you _do_ that!" It had all started out as innocent fun, you know. Go out to the fields, try and hang out with some of the more nerdy Hopps kids, let your girlfriend blow off some steam by beating you up with a pillow on a stick, all in good fun...

But then she Just. Kept. Winning! She parried every thrust, dodged every swing, landed blow, after blow, after blow! She was like some sort of damn kung fu movie ninja, and I had the advantage! My sword was twice as long...!

I actually asked why they had one in my size. Apparently it's proportions were somewhat infamous in the Hopps boffer community. They'd nicknamed it "the compensator".

Janet, Judy's younger sibling and president of the local Bunnyburrow Science Fiction and Fantasy Association, made an uncomfortable noise. "I mean... It is a little unfair that you're just beating on a guy who's never held a sword before."

Now it was Judy's turn to throw out her arms. "He challenged _me_. By bopping me on the head the second he so much as saw the damn swords!"

I gargled dramatically,  "Janet I'm in such a horrible abusive relationship!" wrapped myself around her leg. "I need you to protect-"

The nerdy rabbit squeaked, yanked herself out of my grasp and hopped back, holding up her paw... Then she blinked.

We all froze.

Judy's ears twitched. Her expression tightened. "Janet... What the hell was that?"

I gulped. Oh crap, she was swearing.

Janet's ears flopped back. She bit her lip. "Uh... I..."

I got up and put myself between them. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy there. I know Hopps women like getting into scraps, but this was not a big deal." I cleared my throat and straightened my tie. "Janet, I'm sorry about the leg grab. touching without permission isn't cool."

The diminutive nerd let out a breath. "It's okay... I..." a moment she tired to smile, but her face fell again. If anything she looked even _more_ deflated. "I really suck huh?"

All the anger fled Judy's eyes in a flash. I blinked and she was at her sister's side. "Nooo! You don't _suck_. You're trying! It's just hard some..." Judy froze. I could see the faint whispers of last night churning around in her head.

Yeah, it was long past time I cut down on this crap. I got down on my knees, opened my paws, and let out a breath. "Okay... Let's clear the air a bit here. Judy."

The rabbit in question perked up.

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Look, I get it. Fear doesn't go away just because you really want it to. It has to fade with time and we've only really known each other for a year. But I see how hard you're trying, okay? It just makes it clear how much you really care about me."

She didn't look very reassured... But she nodded and wandered over to nuzzle my shoulder. "Thanks Nick."

I suppressed a purr. Her cheek was impossibly soft... except for the scars. _I swear, when I find the bastard that did that to her..._

I locked that little flare of rage away where I kept all the rest and inhaled my lover's scent to calm my nerves. "Now, Janet."

The younger rabbit fiddled with her paws. "Um... Yes?"

"I get it okay? You don't know me from a hole in the ground and I just up and grabbed your leg. You get to freak out about that. It doesn't even matter that I'm a fox."

She gulped. "I... I guess so, but Judy's really cool and I just..." She shook her head. "I wanted this all to be perfect."

I snorted. "Take it from me Ears, perfection is overrated."

"Yes Uncle Iroh."

"What?"

The rabbit blushed. "Nothing! I'm still sorry though. Boffer's supposed to be a contact sport." She smirked a little bit of... Wonder crept into her eyes. "You know you're a pretty good with the whole 'win friends and influence people shtick. Have you ever done any RPing?"

I smirked, stretching back out on the grass and taking in the country air. "Janet, let me tell you the tale of a brave knight named Finickulous..."

 "Are you folks being nerdy up here?" Came a familiar voice.

I looked up, trundling towards us, cane in hand, was none other than the Hopps resident phone whisperer.

Judy smiled as she approached. "Natalie! What brings you out here?"

The older rabbit, still wearing a flowing red dress and a know-it-all smirk, mimed tipping her hat. "I was just out for a stroll and noted that you were daring to pick up a sword again."

_Huh?_

Judy's expression darkened for a moment... Then she grew an almost predatory smirk. "Natalie, if you haven't noticed I've spent the last few years in constant physical training. These days, I'm the grand master."

_What?_

"Whatever you say sis." The older rabbit chuckled.

I whispered into Janet's ear. " _What is happening!?"_

" _Sibling boffer rivalry._ " The little bunny replied.

" _Wow, Judy's a huge nerd._ "

Judy groaned. "Nick! I can hear your heartbeat, I can damn well hear your whispers!"

My fur slicked. "I like nerds..." I supplied weakly.

Natalie snickered. "You two are adorable." That said she whipped her cane around and started walking away. "Have fun kids!"

Judy got right in front of her. "Oh no you don't!" She held her pillowy blade in a practiced stance and grit her teeth. "You can't just pull that kind of talk and leave. You want proof? I'll give you all the proof you need."

Natalie tilted her head. "Uh, Judy, you do remember how I have _super powers_ right? I'd flatten you."

Carrots narrowed her eyes. "Prove it."

Natalie laughed. "How about this, I'll fight you, and when I win, I get a kiss, on the lips..." She leaned in. "From Nick."

_Wait, what?_

Judy balked. "Are you crazy?"

Natalie, took off her shades, eyeing carrots through the milky film. "I've always been crazy dear sister, the question is whether you're crazy enough to pick a fight with me."

Carrots dropped her sword. "If those are your terms then no. I don't own Nick, and frankly you're a little repulsive for suggesting-"

"Nah, go ahead." I said.

Judy spun around, looking at me like I'd grown a second head. "Nick?"

I shot her my trademarked 'Nick Wilde' smirk. "I believe in you Carrots." I shot Natalie a grin. "Just so we're clear, when she wipes the floor with you, you're giving her that fancy sword cane as a trophy."

The blind rabbit grinned. "Oh, you got a keeper there Judy" She tossed the cane aside and picked up a safer blade. Then she reached into her pocket and tossed something at me.

I managed to catch it. It was... Lip balm?

The blind rabbit smiled at me. "For later dear."

Janet coughed. It cut through the tension like a record scratch. "Uh... So just to be clear here you guys are going to have a _boffer_ duel, not like murder each other or something, right?" She picked up a sword and poked herself in the side with it. It squished harmlessly off her.

Natalie rolled her eyes. Judy, on the other hand, shot her younger sister a reassuring smile. "Don't worry Janet, I love this ring worm, I'm not going to hurt her."

Natalie smiled. "Aw... I love you too you little diaper stain."

"Bite me."

"I charge for that."

It took me a moment to really absorb that exchange. Rabbit women were kind of catty (no racial slur intender).

Janet defied my newly formed stereotype stood between the two. "Uh... Okay! Right, so... Standard rules. A hit to the arm knocks it out of commission. Leg and torso shots are fatal. No attacking the crowd, no headshots and when I shout stop you stop. Sound good?"

Judy smiled. "Works for me. A fair fight, I haven't had one of those in a while."

Natalie slipped her shades back on. I'd seen polar bears with less terrifying grins. "It's cute you think this is fair."

Carrots took up a practiced stance, holding her blade in a two handed grip. "Are you going to stand there all day and bluster at me or are we going to settle this?"

"Happy to oblige..."

The two rabbits walked out into the clearing, swords expertly grasped and their knees bent. The shorn grass and baking sun made them look very small against the open sky.

 Natalie tossed away her sunglasses, holding her sword with casual ease.

Judy kept her stance wide and her body lowered. It was almost like her stance from PT, but perfectly balanced for the blade.

"Begin." Janet whispered.

I'd had the pleasure of seeing Judy spar an enormous number of times. She relied on speed over strength and was a controlled, calculating fighter. Considering her size she had to be.

But for a rabbit? She was a mountain of muscle. She clearly intended to take advantage of that.

Her first swing was wide and strong. A baseball bat strike intended to knock her sister's blade clean out of her hand.

Natalie sidestepped it with ease.

Sorry, did I say sidestepped? I meant side _leaped_. She sailed right over her sister's blade and landed behind her. I knew rabbits could jump, but... Damn.

Natalie pressed the opening, thrusting her blade to her sister's back, but Judy spun around with frightening speed and parried the blow with ease.

Natalie smirked. "Well well... You might actually make me break a sweat."

Judy smirked right back. "You _could_ stand to lose some weight."

Natalie shifted her blade. "Cute."

" _She fights like a dairy farmer._ " Janet mumbled from next to me.

What followed was something I really should have recorded. Carrots had more strength in her, and I think more training, but that blind rabbit wasn't kidding. She was practically psychic. She dodged every swing, parried every blow and not so much as a hair on her ear was touched.

But she really was running into a problem. All those flying leaps clearly wore on her energy. True to her word it wasn't long before sweat started to bead on her forehead.

Meanwhile my lover held strong. Her dodges were less flashy, but the rolls and side leaps did their job. She clearly had an advantage in training and stamina.

I felt a twinge of sympathy for the blind rabbit, but honestly...

She had it coming.

Judy was starting to herd her sister, who's knees were close to buckling after an extended bout of swordplay.

Finally after one flying dodge, she staggered.

It wasn't much of an opening, but Judy pressed it hard. She hurled herself into the air to deliver the final blow. I swear she must have made a ten foot jump, proving she was just as agile as her kin...

And then she was pushed back when Natalie's sword collided with her ribcage... In mid air.

Natalie's thrown weapon clattered to the ground. Carrots fell with it.

"Judy!" I cried. I rushed over to her. "Oh god is anything broken?"

She pulled herself into a crouch, an exhausted look on her face. There was no blood, and the grass she'd landed on was actually pretty soft. Poked at her ribs and groaned. "Nothing but my pride..." she muttered.

Her ears were drooping. I pulled her into a hug.

"Victory goes to Natalie!" Announced Janet. Then she scratched the back of her neck. "But, yeah Nat that was kind of a dirty trick."

"Oh come on!" The blind rabbit objected. "Throwing your weapon is a time honored tradition."

Janet shrugged. "I guess so, but the buckling leg was clearly a feint."

The older rabbit dusted herself off. "What can I say? I'm a hustler."

To her credit she wandered over and helped Judy to her feet. "Seriously though. You actually _have_ gotten better sis. We'll need to do this again sometime." She held out a paw. "Good game?"

Judy sighed, but being Judy she grasped her sister's paw and smiled. "Good game..." Her ears drooped a little. "Sorry I called you fat."

Natalie waved it off. "Please, my precious cinnamon bun of a sister was _trash talking_." She fake sniffed. "You're growing up so fast."

Judy rolled her eyes.

Janet coughed. "Great, so, now that you've worked off your surplus aggression would you folks like to grab some lemonade?" The young rabbit was shielding her eyes. "I'm going to get sunburn right through my fur if this keeps up."

The blind rabbit nodded. "Sure thing... Right after I get my prize."

My fur flattened. "Wait, you were _serious_?"

The blind rabbit winced, suddenly looking a lot more meek. "I mean... Uh..."

Judy sighed. "Just kiss her Nick. Otherwise she's going to whine about it all day."

I let out a breath. "fine."

I edged up to the blind rabbit and put a paw on her chin. "Ready?"

She looked more than a bit nervous. "Uh... yeah! Go right ahead."

I leaned in. I know I'd just seen her trounce Judy, but when she was this close to me, shuddering a little in anticipation...

I gave her a quick peck on the lips before we could get any further.

She laughed... But there was tension under it. "Wooh! Judy clearly has more to teach you. You ever want a real lesson come to me."

That said, she gave me a pat on the butt, twitched her ears to the side and said "Say is that the ice cream truck? Got to go!"

She bolted.

The three of us left blinked. "Uh... What was that?" I managed to mumble.

"I have no idea..." Janet replied.

Carrots picked up the equipment and cleared her throat. "Um... Nick? For the record I'm all for Gideon, but if _she_ comes on to you."

I shot her a thumbs up. "Don't worry we're on the same page." The last thing I needed was _more_ romantic entanglements.

Janet's eyes bugged out. "Wait, your second is _Gideon_?"

_Ugh._ And now that was out there... I really hoped my prison wife was having a less crazy morning.

#

Gideon

As I was double checking the supplies, I blinked. "Uh... Sharla? Why is there a box of condoms in my picnic basket?"

My woolly apprentice smirked, "Protection is important sir!"

_Ugh_...


	6. Love and Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited date.

_Gideon_

"Hi Giddy!"

"EEEEGH!!" I leapt back and blinked. Nick Wilde, the real one, had been standing right behind me.

The older fox blinked, Then smirked. "You know this isn't the D block showers Giddy."

He looked around at the small valley surrounded by wheat fields, nothing but an open sky, the rustling wind and my picnic spread. He scrached at his neck. "Okay, it's time to admit I have no idea where Judy dropped me off... Ooh! Wait a sec!"

He pulled out a white carrot phone (that blind bunny's work, I suppose) and punched in some numbers. He blinked. "We're _still_ on the Hopps' farm?"

I blushed. "Well, it's kind of a huge place... Judy offered this here space on account of the whole seclusion and such... Is...?" I looked down. "Is this okay?"

 _Please god let it be okay_... I'd been too hasty throwing this together to be honest. I had a pie, a carrot cake, some bagels with lox, a bottle of sparkling cider (non alcoholic, the last thing I needed was to get hammered), pitcher of lemonade, and water bottles for good measure.

Sharla had helped me finish up the spread after her little prank. She was currently cleaning out the store room in penance while she waited for the food bank truck to roll up.

After setting that up, I'd made sure that the front end staff was up to the lunch rush and then I'd headed out to meet the only man I'd ever loved.

Said man put a paw to his chin and eyed the spread. "I dunno... Is that pie blueberry?"

"Eyup."

He smiled. "Then I deem it acceptable." That said, he sat down, his impossibly fluffy tail curling on the blanket. He rubbed his paws together. "Alright! I hope you weren't planning to take any of this home with you because..." He paused for a moment. His face fell. "I..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, this is weird."

I felt my heart sink. "I'm sorry, I-"

He held up a paw. "No... Gideon it isn't your fault." The older fox looked down at my blanket. "It's just... Us? On a _date_? After 8 years..." He looked lost, a thousand painful memories welling up.

Of course, he was Nick Wilde, so he didn't break down. He didn't even flinch. All he did was stare.

I sat down next to him, not touching, wanting to be close, but giving him some space. My heart was breaking, but I knew this might happen. For a while there was no sound but the wind.

"Hey, Giddy?" He asked, suddenly.

My ears perked up. "Yes Nick?"

He looked down. "Can you... Hold me? I mean, like you used to. Just for a second?"

It was the last thing I expected to hear, but I was _not_ about to complain.

I pulled him close, seating his butt on my lap and letting his tail curl between his legs. I wrapped my arms around him, not squeezing, just supporting.

I could feel his breath, his heart beat slowing.

Holding him like this wasn't some thrill for me. The moment was too somber for that. But it did feel comforting. It was a stance we'd perfected long ago, when he'd woken up from some nightmare or other and just wanted to feel like the world wasn't a horrible place, even if only until dawn.

It was nice to feel him relax in my arms, letting himself sniffle, just a bit. Nick Wilde was a tough fox, don't get me wrong, but he was also a sensitive one. I liked to think by letting me hold him, letting me comfort him, that he was letting me in.

I also liked to think it helped him. It was easier to be strong when you had a safe place to be weak.

At least... That's how I felt when he held me.

He snuggled his back into my chest, forcing his cocky grin back up. "Oh yeah... That's the stuff."

"Still feel weird?" I asked.

"Super weird." He replied, he let out a relieved breath, "But in a good way." He looked up at me. "Gideon... what happened? After we parted ways I mean?"

I sighed. "Compared to what y'all have been through, it's really not much of a story."

He pressed against me, insistent. "I want to hear it." He said.

I sighed. I guess there was no avoiding this any longer. "After y'all left... Well I went back to my old tricks for about a week, but it was... different."

I mulled it over, trying to figure out the right words to explain it. "The other inmates acted different around me. They didn't see me as some scary thug anymore, just a wounded kit who'd had that knife twisted. Heck, whenever I really saw red, even the assholes who'd called us 'those fox fags' tried to use your name to calm me down.

"They'd go 'is this what Nick would want?', or 'What would Nick say about this?' and then... I'd stop hitting them. I wanted to be... better, after you." I felt the faintest of smile curl on my lips. "So I got better."

Nick actually seemed to tense. "I... I have to say dude, I'm glad you worked it out sure I'm such a good role model. I mean, _come on_ , how many cons did I rope you into while we were in the slammer? How much did I steal?" He sighed. "I'm not some paragon for you to aspire to."

I resisted the urge to grip him tighter, to tell him of course he was perfect and his fur was soft and I never ever wanted to let him go... But that was my heart talking. And right now I needed my head in the game. "Nick, I know you're no saint, but you were a heck of a lot better than me and... beggin' your pardon, but after you left it wasn't really _about_ you anymore. I wanted to be better. Your name was as good of a reminder as any that I could be."

Nick sighed. "Darn, I was hoping you'd tell me I was secretly perfect."

"You're secretly perfect." I said.

"Thanks."

He paused, mulling over my story. "So, you stopped beating people up, that's definitely good to hear. Did you do anything else worthwhile with your time? I mean, don't get me wrong, in that Hell hole just surviving was a full time job, but..."

I gave him a rueful chuckle. "You want to know if I ever got that kitchen job we were gunning for, don't ya?"

"Well, _yeah_." He said, that old classic Nick Wilde smirk curling up on his face. "I mean, there were so many cigarettes and handjob futures invested in that one..."

I snorted. "Sorry to dissapoint you, but it never panned out... To be honest I probably could have snagged it, but I would have had to do some things that really weren't worth it." I let out a breath, resting just a little bit of weight on him. "Not if I ever wanted to look myself in the mirror again."

He frowned. "Giddy... did you do sexy things to get by? Because doing those to survive in that nightmare? Nothing to be ashamed of."

I shook my head. "Nah, that wasn't the problem... the problem was that if I wanted to cook to earn my keep..." I felt a little chill run down my spine. There were gangs in there that had some very unsettling ideas of 'fun'. The kinds of 'fun' I wouldn't even have considered on my worst days. "It wasn't worth it. I did get some cook books though!" I added, trying to lighten the mood. "I learned a whole heap of recepies. Heck, I even bake a few of the things I picked up there for a living nowadays. So it all..."

He took my paw in his own.

Holding paws was something I never realized was so intimate before Nick. He'd gripped my hand one night, after we'd just banged out a few to relax. There had been a thunderstorm outside and it was so loud that both our hearts were racing.

He'd been holding me... You know, _after_. I'm not sure if there was a thunder crack and I whined, or shivered or what, but he took my hand and I felt... _safe_.

I think before that it had just been sex, or comfort, or a need to be close. That was the first time I felt... cared for.

"I shouldn't have left." He said, barely whispering.

I blinked. "What?" What cockamamy thoughts were running through his head now? "Nick, your sentence was up. They wouldn't exactly have let you keep slumming it with me in C block."

He grit his teeth. "Yeah, but I could have gotten it extended!" He squeezed my hand.. "I mean, seriously, all I'd have to do is drop my pants in front of a guard, or tie someone's shoelaces together, or... something! All I needed was to pull some minor, harmless crime and I could have been there for you."

I frowned. "Nick, that's crazy talk. I would never ask that of you."

He snorted, sadly. "Yeah, well, you brought out the crazy in me Giddy." He nestled back into my chest. "I think you still do."

For a moment, we were silent. This damn, slick, beautiful fox...

"You really would have stayed." I said. Somehow it wasn't even a question. "You would have stayed in that nightmare, just to be with me."

He turned around, holding me face to face. I felt electricity run down my spine. "In a heartbeat." He stared at me, there were tears in his eyes. "It's really you isn't it?"

"Yes Nick," I whispered. "It's me."

That's all we needed. Our lips met, and I felt the world go white.

#

_Nick_

We were panting, half covered with a picnic blanket and nothing else.

The food was scattered. I hadn't even gotten a  crumb of that pie and I couldn't care less.

The flowing wind, the warm sun and the even warmer fox at my side was even warmer. Absolutely everything in my life was perfect. I was squeeing, I was swimming, I was... Terrified.

My eyes widened as the full implications of what we'd done sank in. _Oh god, we went too fast. Now he thinks I'm crazy... and I don't care how open minded bunnies are,  Judy's going to chop me up into bits and-_

My train of thought was interrupted by a playful nibble on my neck. "I love you." Gideon said.

I blinked, my train of thought derailing and exploding in the most impressive fireball I'd ever seen... Which was saying something. "Wha? Giddy, we just... I mean..."

"Hey," He said, completely cutting me off. "Y'all got a free 'love you', I just wanted one too."

I laughed. I wasn't sure if it was nerves, or joy, or what, but god it felt good. "We'll make a sly fox out of you yet."

He gave me a playful peck on the lips. "You know any of those, Mr. Corn Fed Law Man?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well played... But seriously," I gripped his hand. _God_ it felt good to do that. "if we're going to make this work, like _really_ work, we're going to have to do a huge pile of planning."

He gripped back and gave me a reassuring nuzzle. "I reckon we'll figure it out, besides we can always ask Judy to sort out the logistics. The girl's got one heck of a head on her shoulders."

I bit my lip, suddenly recalling why I was panicking. "Oh boy... Judy probably didn't expect us to sleep together."

Gideon shrugged. You could tell he was just basking in the afterglow while I panicked. It was adorably infuriating to be honest.  "I doubt Judy's going to care. If anything she'll be dancing a jig that we patched things up."

I had to admit, that _did_ sound like Judy. "God I love that girl..."

I realized what I'd said and shot my other significant other an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't be talking about Judy while we're having mutual naked time."

He raised an eyebrow. "Having what now?"

"Were you always this snarky?"

He snorted. "I learned from the best. And for the record, go right ahead and talk about Judy all you ever want. She's smart, she's tough, she brought us together..." He smiled...  Then frowned for some reason. "Lord almighty, do I wish we'd been closer growin' up."

I let out a breath, feeling it flow through his fur. Honestly I think I could have spent my entire life just holding him. "What _was_ it like growing up with Judy anyway? Have any embarrassing stories I could use?"

He was silent.

I blinked. "Giddy, are you okay?"

He bit his lip. "We- We didn't-" He sighed. He looked... Old. Very old. "You knew me Nick. I was just as horrible to her as I was to everyone else."

And then the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. I felt a burning in my gut, horrible, horrible clarity finally returning. "It was you..."

Gideon tensed. "Nick, I-"

I pushed him away and got up. "It was _you!_ You're the reason she has those scars, _You're_ the one who gave her those fucking nightmares!"

He blanched. "She... She has nightmares about me?"

I snarled at the moron, snatching up my clothes. "No fucking shit Giddy. She was a tiny, innocent, bunny and you _tore her fucking face open!_ "

My heart was racing, I saw red. Gideon... _he_ was the one who hurt Judy. _He_ was the fox that haunted her dreams... I'd never felt so betrayed.

Well, maybe once.

And that... I blanched. Oh god, that was his fault too.

Giddy got up, wrapping himself in the blanket, trying and failing to hold on to some semblance of composure. "Nick, I- I don't have an excuse. I know what I did was horrible, and I'm sorr-"

"NO!" I shouted, a full on snarl building my throat. "Stop! Just Stop! You do not get to break the best damn person on the planet and then just say  you're _sorry_! You do not get to stop her..." I felt tears welling up, realizing what this meant, fully and completely. "You do not get to stop the woman I love more than life itself from ever feeling completely safe around me and then just say you're sorry."

I let out a breath, turning to the road.

"Nick..." I heard a faint, broken whisper call.

Some piece of me, deep inside, felt bad.

I found that piece, and I crushed it. "Stay away from me Gideon Grey. Just stay away..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry folks, there's more to this tale to come. Things look dark now, but as a great dog once said: Stay Determined!


	7. Milkshakes

_Judy_

"Thanks for doing lunch with us Jude." My dad said, smiling from the other side of the table. "I know you kids had plans."

My mom nodded, but I could only laugh in reply. "Dad, I'm 25, same as my littermates, are you two ever going to cut it with the 'kid' stuff?"

Mom laughed. "Maybe when you're in a nursing home dear. Also, when you can eat toast without getting crumbs in your ear _."_

_Dang it_... I batted the offending appendage clean and the waitress, a perky little high school aged pig,  came by with our drinks.

Just to be clear, I am 100% in on fitness. I did my calisthenics this morning, (followed by a large, rather frustrating amount of cardio chasing my insufferable sister around) and I do my level best to eat right.

But you have to understand... The triple chocolate raspberry milkshake from Honey Bunnies was not a food, it was a _sacrament_. It was a cultural icon of Bunnyburrow. It was a tall, smooth glass of chocolate ice cream blended with raspberries straight from Westfield Burrows and fresh cow's milk sold by local mothers.

Whipped cream? A cherry? Of course it had those, but it also had fresh raspberries dipped in chocolate covering the top and a swirl of hot fudge running down its center.

I stuffed my straw in, took a large draught and sighed in pleasure... After a long boffer thrashing, this was exactly what I needed.

But milkshakes were not my only goal today. I had a mission, one much more important than ice cream. My parents asking me to lunch was the perfect opportunity. "So..." I began, idly playing with my straw. "Have you folks heard from Aunt Sally recently?"

My mother flinched. My dad looked away, twiddling the straps of his overalls. Things were silent for a moment.

"Judy dear..." My mother began, finally. "You know that relationship of your father's didn't end well..."

I sighed, now came the hard, even a little dangerous part. "I know. And I'm not saying you should be throwing yourself at her feet Dad, but if you've accepted Nick and I... shouldn't you at least call her?"

Dad looked lost. "Nick? What does he have to do with-" A flash of realization hit his face and he laughed. "Oh! I see! Judy, don't y'all worry your pretty little head about that, our breakup with Sally had nothing to do with her bein' cross. In fact, I was mighty glad she found herself someone who was a little more serious."

My mom grasped my hand from across the table. "And just to be clear, we couldn't be happier with you bringing home Nick. He's quite the gentleman."

I smiled. Her saying that had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders... but it still left a question open. I felt the detective portion of my brain whirring to life. "Wait... Then why did you stop talking to Sally? I mean, obviously she married someone else, so Dad wouldn't stay with her, but that's no reason to cut her out completely." I turned to my mom. "I mean, you still play bridge with Aunt Wendy and Aunt Suzie right? Why is Sally different?"

My mother tensed. My dad coughed. "Well... You see-"

"JUDY!" Came a shout.

Our very interesting conversation was interrupted when Nick Wilde came blundering into the restaurant. He was more bedraggled than I had ever seen him, and for the record I'd seen him after he fell off a waterfall.

I hopped out of the booth instantly. "Nick what-?"

He snatched me up into a hug and started crying into my shoulder. "I'm sorry... Oh god I'm so sor-"

*Kachunk*

He paused in the middle of... Whatever he was doing to look up at Maud Westfield pointing a shotgun at him. "Put her down you brute!" She cried.

I turned to look at the rest of the diner, who wore expressions ranging from shock to fear.

I hopped out of his grasp and  held up my paws. "No, no, no! Maude he's my boyfriend. for Pete's sake, do you even have a permit for that thing?"

Maud blinked, eyes wide with shock. "What? But Judy... You're a good girl!" She narrowed her eyes at my fox and kept her gun trained on his head. "Are you beating her? Is that how it is?"

Nick was taken aback, possibly more than he was by the Shotgun. "What? No! Of course not! I-"

"OKAY!" I shouted. Mostly to get everyone's attention.  I pulled out my badge and marched right in front of the barrel of the gun. "Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to lower your weapon."

The Waitress put it down, more out of shock than anything else.

I turned to my parents. "Dad! Keys!"

He threw them to me, staring at the rabbit with the gun.

"Thank you." I said. I grabbed Nick by the arm and yanked him out of the diner.

#

The open road stretched out before us, finally giving me some time. Some time to think long and hard about how screwed up this town was.

I felt at my chest where the gun had pointed. I thought about what she'd said... Oh god was that what it was like to be Nick? Could someone really see me as tainted because of who I loved?

"I'm sorry." I said finally, "About Maud. She's... Racist."

Nick nodded. "I got that." He collapsed against his chair, letting out a long breath. "You know, your town is kind of surreal."

I laughed. After all the tension I just couldn't help myself.

And that beautiful man joined in. We must have been laughing for six miles when we finally stopped.

Nick let out a weak chuckle. "This truck... God I remember last time. Heh, that flannel. Oh I wanted to tear you out of that."

I blushed, not sure if it would show through my fur. "You knew even then huh?"

He snorted. "Actually I was talking about getting you back in uniform Miss 'get between me and a shotgun', but yeah, that too." He frowned. "God Judy I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No, Nick I'm the one who should apologize, for dragging you out, for not knocking Maud's teeth out, for the entirety of my species..."

"Not like that," he said, his voice hollow. "Giddy. I'm sorry about Giddy."

I raised an eyebrow, trying to track his expression through the rear view mirror. "Nick, it's okay. I don't care how far things went with Giddy, it's not like I sent you out with a chastity belt."

His fur slicked. "You know we-? How?"

Okay if he hadn't noticed the blush before I'm sure he noticed it now. "You... Sort of have a distinctive scent at the moment."

He crossed his legs and draped his tail over his lap. Until that moment I wasn't sure if it would be possible to see a blush through red fur. "That... Okay, I'm sorry about that too, but that's not what I meant." He looked out the window. He had that look sometimes that he got when his guard was down, that wistful, broken look I'd first seen that day on the Sky tram the day after we met.

I was honored that I got to see it, and crushed that it even existed.

It didn't take long for me to connect the dots. "He told you about the clawing huh?"

He frowned. "No, he said something stupid and... Okay not exactly evasive, but he didn't just tell me like he should have."

I groaned. "Nick, when was he supposed to have said? Hi! Do you want to try my new blueberry crumble? Oh by the way I got into a stupid fight with your girlfriend when I was twelve. You should have it with whipped cream."

He looked nonplussed. "Why are you defending him? He hurt you."

I grit my teeth. "Yeah, when he was _twelve_. Then he straightened himself out, got a ton of therapy, was nice to my parents and _apologized_." I chanced a glance over to the fox I loved, making sure he knew I was serious. "He's a better person now Nick. You know that better than anyone."

He gripped at his ears. "Sure, whatever he's safer now, better. That doesn't change what he did to you."

I felt my paws gripping the steering wheel tight. "It needs to be enough Nick. I can't give you anything else."

He looked as lost as I felt. "What are you talking about?"

I wasn't sure where all this was coming from. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but one way or another it was all pouring out. "He's my friend Nick."

He put a paw on my shoulder. "Judy a friend who hurts you is not a friend."

I pulled over. I was not driving like... like whatever this was.

Plus I needed air, badly. I got out of the car. The field next to it was laying fallow so there was plenty of room to pace.

Nick was out and after me before I'd even hit the dirt. "Judy-"

"God Nick, if that's how it works, what am I to you?" I asked the sky more than him.

He pulled me into a hug, holding me. "You're the woman I love. You're my partner, my friend."

"No I'm not! I hurt you Nick." I croaked. My throat felt tight. "I hurt you way more than Gideon ever hurt me. And if you don't want him that's _fine_ , but... If he can't come back I definitely can't."

He held me tight. "Judy you are not Gideon. You may have done some stupid stuff because of what he did to you, but-"

Okay, no. I pushed myself out of the fox's grip, wheeling on him with rage in my eyes. " _That is not his fault!_ " I cried. "Nick, _I_ hurt Finnick, _I_ hurt your mom, _I_ hurt Clawhauser, I hurt _you_."

I kicked at the dirt. "It's not this place, it's not Gideon, it's not the crazy racist theories of that dumb badger. I am responsible for those riots. I am responsible for those animals who got mauled while the ZPD was chasing ghosts, _me_."

I was crying now. Maybe I always had been, "Tell me he was handsy. Tell me he was too dumb to keep up with you. Sweet cheese and crackers, tell me he had bad breath! But do not tell me that you left someone you loved because he hurt someone else you loved." I looked down. "Because if that's the case... We won't last at all."

He was speechless. I tossed him the keys. "I need to take a run, okay?"

"Judy wait, I-"

"I need space Nick. I need to run." That said I started pounding down the road, having no clue where I was going or why.

#

_Gideon_

*Ding*

My fourth tray of blueberry muffins were done.

Nick was staring at me, looking more than concerned. "Giddy, you've made enough muffins."

I pulled out a tray of delicious steaming pastry and set them down next to the three dozen others. I was already prepping another tray. They still weren't good enough.

"Giddy-"

"Nick! I do not want to talk to you right now!" I snapped at my imaginary friend.

Maybe snapped was the operative word.

He took on the form of a silly cartoon dragon with purple yarn for hair. "Who's Nick? I'm... George, a totally neutral concerned party! Do you want to talk about your feelings?"

I sighed. "I know it's you."

He went back to normal and gave me a smug point. "Yeah, but you smiled, didn't you?"

Did I? I felt instantly guilty.

I turned off the oven and wandered over to  the family room, plopping myself on the couch and staring at photos of relatives I'd barely known.

Sometimes it scared me that I actually inherited this place. My dad wasn't old when he died. In fact he'd kicked the bucket while I was in prison. Nineteen and even stupider than I was today.

Nick. The real Nick... He'd held me when I cried. I wasn't sure if it was sadness or joy, but it didn't feel healthy either way.

He was there for me. Some part of me thought he always would be...

But why would he be? I wasn't good for him. I wasn't good for anyone.

Imaginary Nick was at my side in an instant. "Okay, I'm going to list all of the ways that isn't true. First off-"

There was a knock at the door. It was so surprising Nick disappeared in a puff of mental smoke.

_What the...?_ I went to the front porch and opened up the door. Precisely the last person in the universe I expected was there.

"Hi Giddy," An exhausted, puffy eyed Judy said. "Could... Could I lie down for a minute?"

About two minutes later my grade school crush and victim of misplaced rage was laying on the sofa where my dad beat me for finding gay porn on the family computer.

Things could not get more weird.

I handed her a glass of water and a muffin. She sniffed the muffin and took a tiny sip of the water. The glass looked huge in her paws.

I wondered if I should be here. I wondered if I should be trying to stay as far away from the girl I hurt as possible. That's what they told monsters like me to do right? Inform the neighborhood and hide away?

But she was exhausted, and miserable, and we were in the middle of nowhere...

Avoiding people was a lot harder when they showed up on your doorstep.

"I'm sorry my boyfriend dumped you..." She croaked.

I winced. "Judy just... Don't worry about that right now, how long have you been runin'"

She pulled out her phone and weakly pawed at it. "Uh... Roughly half an hour? Like 20 miles?"

I swear my eyes were going to bug out of my sockets. _Dang rabbits and their super speed_. But even for a bunny 20 miles was pushing it.

I scratched at the back of my head. "Land's sakes Judy haven't y'all heard of a car? What were you thinking?"

The rabbit chuckled. "I wasn't, obviously... I had a fight with Nick. I hear that's been going around."

I grimaced. "Oh sweet lord no, I am not the person you should be coming to for relationship advice."

Judy groaned. "Not that I wouldn't welcome it, but mostly I'm just... Here to say I'm sorry for how Nick treated you. And you know..." She looked down. "I didn't want to be miserable alone."

She sighed into her water, letting out a cough.

I took the glass away. "Don't drink so fast, you'll hurt yourself."

She laughed. "Oh that would be a change from hurting other people wouldn't it?"

_Oh no_... There was only one thing she could be talking about. I started to reach out a paw, but I stopped. The last thing on earth I needed to do was touch Judy Hopps.

"Can you touch me?"

I dropped the water. Thankfully the glass didn't break. "Wha?"

She held up a paw. "Sorry... That came out super weird. I just mean. It's all fear. When I get scared of people, people I don't need to be afraid of, I just sort of flip... And I don't think before I say things... And I'm a dumb bunny."

I narrowed my eyes. "You are not a dumb bunny. Never think that." I looked down, remembering a thousand mistakes. "Please god Judy, never think that."

"How am I supposed to not think that?" She asked. "I've done so much terrible crap. Made so many assumptions, betrayed friends, family."

I crossed my arms. "Judy Hopps, y'all ain't got your head on straight. Did you mess up with that crazy press conference? Sure. Did it scar you forever and make you some kind of untouchable pariah? No. There's always going to be idiots who tell you that you ain't worth nothin' to the world because you screwed up at some point, but that don't make it true."

I didn't know if I was trying to reassure her or myself, but I threw out my arms and doubled down. "Just look at yourself, you're a rabbit police officer who's learned the hard way that your words and actions have weight." I smiled.  "I mean, You wouldn't be torturing yourself running 20 miles to an ex-con's house if you didn't _care_."

I twisted at my paws, looking down. "You gotta believe me Judy, You were the only person growing up around here who had real hopes and dreams. You made everyone in town want to be better. You made _me_ want to be a better... Even if it took me a while to believe I could."

She scoffed. "Nick did that."

I smiled. "It was a collaborative effort."

She stared at me, long and hard. It was a little unsettling to be honest. "Gideon... can you please touch my cheek?"

My eyes went wide. Oh... Oh good lord in heaven, that's what she meant. I stepped back. "Judy I-"

She held up a paw, locking me in her deep, caring eyes. "Gideon, think about it... I know it's asking a lot, but I think it would help. I could use a win right now. Maybe we both could."

I let out a long shaky breath. She... She wasn't wrong. "You sure?"

She nodded.

I steeled myself. "Okay." I picked up my paw. I reached it out. I kept reaching...

She took my hand in hers. "Gid, it's okay."

I gulped. It really wasn't "I almost hurt you a second time you know."

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"The day after... I was going to get revenge for taking the tickets I stole... God I was screwed up."

To my surprise Judy looked more curious than afraid. She held my hand tight. "What happened? Why didn't you."

I shrugged. "I was going to do... Something during recess the next day. I don't know what. I saw you on the swings. I think you were being pushed by that friend of yours, you know, Bobby? Guy who made all the wacky noises?"

She smiled. "Yeah. Cool guy."

I chuckled. "I know, I  think I tried to kiss him once." A few confused childhood memories came flooding back. Oh how the time rushed by. "Anywho, you were out there, swinging, having fun... I don't know it just didn't feel right. There was terrifying, gorgeous little Judy Hopps with her big plans and dreams. And there I was. The kid who stole festival tickets." I shook my head. "You were on another damn planet. I could never touch you."

She held firm to my hand. Hers hand was small, but her grip was strong. "We're touching right now Gid. I'm right here on earth. Always was."

I moved the rest of the way to her cheek, Judy's hand still wrapped around mine.

I felt them. The scars I left. Tiny little things, but real.

I think I was crying. I wasn't sure.  I started babbling. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. I hurt you, I'm so dumb and messed up and I-"

There was a tiny, rabbit finger on my nose. Judy smiled. At least I knew for certain _she_ was crying. "I forgave you a long time ago Gideon Grey. You are a good man. Never forget that, ever."

My breath caught in my throat. Her scent flooded over me.

Nick was in my head in an instant. "Gideon, Do not kiss her. I repeat, do _not_ kiss her."

She pulled me close, our lips locked, and the whole world went white.

#

_Nick_

Gideon's house had really nice picture windows.

I lowered the paw that I'd planned to tap the glass with.

_Holy fuck..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kicking this one out despite not being satisfied with it. I needed to just get it done. There will be less of a gap next time I promise.


	8. As the world burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short transitional chapter, but an important one!

_Nick_

My mind was completely blank as I robotically made my way back to the car.

I opened the passenger side door of the only slightly cramped (for a fox)  SUV and popped in, tossing Janet the bouquet. "Here Janet." I said emptily. "Have some flowers."

Judy's nerdy sister caught the flowers and stared at me. "Oh god, what happened?"

I let out a breath, having no idea whatsoever how to explain it. "I saw Gideon and Judy making out through the window."

Janet's expression went from confused, to horrified, to angry, to disbelieving in the span of four seconds. Her paws gripped at the steering wheel. "The... That... _What?_ "

I nodded. "Glad we're on the same page here."

Janet started babbling. "Judy _cheated_? On you? But she loves you! Like super giddy 'senpai noticed me' adores you! How could she- It's Judy!" The rabbit's fur fell uncomfortably slick. "Judy, the doe who was so by the book she was hall monitor for her entire school career. Judy, the bunny who insisted her own prom date get her home by 10:00! She... HOW?!"

I blinked, Janet's outburst shaking me from my daze. I eyed the little fluff ball with concern. "Uh... Jan?"

The little bunny blinked. "Um... Sorry." She sighed, planting her face on the steering wheel. "I must be like the absolute worst person for you to talk to right now huh? You've just been betrayed and you're sitting with Judy's sister in her crappy car with the anime bumper stickers..."

I narrowed my eyes. "Hey! I _like_ that your car has anime bumper stickers. I like that you volunteered to drive me out here." I eyed Giddy's house with a grimace. "I even like that you keep throwing yourself into uncomfortable situations out of some weird combination of kindness and adventurous spirit."

Thinking with the kind of social aplomb you can only learn on the streets, I held out my fist and offered it to her with more than a fair share of reverence. "You're alright Janet. I know we've just met, but I sense the beginning of a beautiful bromance with you."

She eyed the fist warily, clearly wondering what form of contract she was signing... Then bumped it with a nervous smile. "Wow. You sure know how to bromance a girl."

I smiled. "Platonic affection is a lost art."

Janet nodded, managing a real smile. "I guess so." The smile didn't last long once she remembered our situation. "So... Now what?"

I eyed the house in front of us, the house containing the two people I loved most in the world who for all I knew were banging each other senseless while burning pictures of me in effigy.

I felt an odd flush while picturing the banging part. Something about it was...

I shook myself. Okay, I was going to lock that thought away deep in my personal vault and come back to it never. "I... I need a drink." I finally decided. "I need a good, tall drink."

Janet looked uncertain. "Um... Nick? Not to be all up in your case, but as your newly minted bro I kind of have to say that doesn't sound like a great idea. Alcohol and... whatever you're feeling right now don't seem like they would mix well."

I groaned.  She had a point. "Know anywhere I could get a drink that also has staff that could physically restrain me?"

Janet started the car. "The IT department it is."

#

_Judy_

I realized what I was doing was wrong two seconds after I started, but it still took me thirty more to pull back.

Finally I managed to pry myself away. Gideon let go, his eyes widening in horror.

For a second we just sat there, frozen and lost.

"Oh god I cheated on Nick." I whispered.

"Uh..." Gideon began, his expression blank. "I mean, in your defense he did have sex with me like three hours ago."

"That's different!" I cried. The panic was finally starting to catch up with me. "Gideon he and I talked about letting him be with you, that wasn't ever a problem, this!" I stood up on the couch and then gestured wildly to myself and him. "This is completely unauthorized!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Wait, so he just gets to be with other people and you don't?"

"Yes!" I shouted. "Because we _talked_ about him being with other people! There was no clause in our relationship where I was allowed to become a Grade A Jessica Rabbit!"

Gideon blinked at me. "Uh... Is that actually a thing?"

I sighed. "Gideon, you're missing the point." My ears fell. "I cheated. I cheated on the man I love more than anyone else in the universe and I can never undo what I've done..."

His expression softened. He held out a paw. "Judy... People make mistakes. What matters is what we do after them. And considering how Nick was treating you I think-"

I pushed the paw away. "Gideon, Nick treated me just fine. Okay , maybe he was a little overprotective, but... why are you working so hard to defend me?"

"Because I want this to be real." He whispered.

I froze.

He did his best to compose himself, looking down at his feet. "Judy... I like you. I like you a lot and I want to be with you..."

_Me too._ Came a completely unhelpful voice in my head. I sentenced that voice to life without parole and grit my teeth. "Gideon. Are. You. Nuts! We've been friends for like two minutes! And sure we grew up together and have a meaningful connection and when I look at you I feel warm and safe like there's a little piece of home with me wherever... Agh!" I yanked at my ears. "I love Nick! I really, really love him and I want to spend my life with him and he makes me feel whole and..."

I think there were tears. I didn't know, I wasn't keeping track. "Gideon, you are very sweet, and I'm not going to pretend I don't have a bit of a crush on you, I _do_ but..." It felt like swallowing knives to say it, but it had to be said. "I can't give up on him just to be with you. I'm sorry. He means way too much to me for that."

Something in Gideon broke. It was like the sparkle had drained out of his eyes. He slumped over on the couch. "I see."

It was absolutely gut wrenching to see him this way.

Honestly, it kind of pissed me off.

"Gideon, look at me!" I demanded.

The fox obeyed, bleary eyed and confused.

I felt my foot tapping madly at the ground and my brows knitting tightly together. "I need to be with Nick, but that doesn't mean he can't be with you too! If.... If he can be with someone like me, then I have no idea what sort of bizarre hypocrisy keeps him from being with someone as amazing as you."

I got right in his face. "I may not be able to date you, but I am sure as heck not going to let you be alone."

And then my ears fell again. "I mean... If you still want him, after he left. And, you know, you don't prefer the quiet. That's good too."

The fox stared at me, like I was some case file that got more and more surreal the longer you read it. He leaned back on the couch and groaned, shielding his eyes with his paws. "I think you're missing something really obvious, and we're both missin' a third of this conversation."

Sometimes Gideon could be very sharp. My ears drooped and I sat down next to him, picking at the fur on my paws. "Yeah... Yeah, we are."

He sighed. "This is not going to be a fun talk is it?"

I shook my head. "No... It really won't."

#

_Nick_

I kicked open the door and flicked on the lights. "Yo! Natalie! Were gonna get... Wasted?"

I froze. Janet froze behind me. Her jaw was lost somewhere on the floor.

"Nick!" The blind rabbit said, dropping her unsheathed sword cane. "Heh! Couldn't stay away from me could you?"

She noted the copious bleeding from her arm and quickly pulled her sleeve down. She threw on a surprisingly convincing smile. "What? Oh don't worry about that! It's just a shaving cut! Yeah, I was going to get a really boss tattoo so I was shaving my fur so the tattoo guy could..."

She trailed off and her ears fell. "You're not buying this are you?"

Janet shook her head. "Not one bit."

The blind rabbit sighed. "We're going to the quiet room aren't we?"

I nodded. "Big time."


	9. Monster

_Natalie_

*Creak*

*Clunk*

*Click*

The door to the quiet room closed. The timer on the microwave beeped and I felt the wafting wave of sticky heat as Janet opened the door and started tearing open packages. Hot chocolate, my nose told me. Not the cider.

Nick sat on the other couch across from me. His clothes weren't rustling much, so I guess he was trying to stay calm, even if it was undercut by his fingers tapping at my sword cane.

I'd agreed to let him hold it and come with them quietly if they wouldn't call Mom... Though they'd been pretty clear that was only for now.

Janet came over and put three steaming little Styrofoam cups of chocolatey goodness down.

No one touched them.

I fingered at my frankly over-dramatic bandage. I hadn't cut myself that deep after all... Not as deep as I deserved anyway.

I turned my head in the direction of Nick's breathing. I needed to get away. To  just snow them and leave so they couldn't get any more messed up in this, so that I couldn't hurt him, or Judy, or anyone else ever again.

I cleared my throat, "This... This really isn't a big deal okay? You have bigger peppers to fry and I'm-"

I heard the wisp of wind and the crinkle of fur as the fox shook his head. "We're talking about this Nat. I don't think there's any bigger fish... peppers... out there than making sure my friend doesn't kill herself."

That hurt, bad. I hung my head in shame. "I'm not your friend Nick, I'm your abuser."

The other couch was silent.

I heard Nick's shirt ruffle as he raised his paw. "Uh... What?"

I bit my lip. _Oh great, he doesn't even remember._ It was a possibility I'd considered. It changed nothing.

I pointed my head at him and kept my eyes open. It always seemed to get sighted people to listen better. "Nick, this morning I beat up my baby sister, then extorted a kiss out of you and groped you."

My first kiss ever, the only one I hadn't made up to sound cool... And it was stolen. I took it from my baby sister, and then her lover, by _force_.

There was no circle of Hell low enough for the likes of me.

My ears flattened against my back.  I'd known it was a problem with me for quite some time, what with touching myself multiple times a day and taking all those risks to do it in a crowded warren, listening to all those breathy tracks online that came from who knows where... I had to own it, it was the least I could do. Little cuts just weren't enough anymore, I hadn't learned. I drew up what was left of my will and held my voice level. "I'm a monster Nick."

I felt myself gripping at the bandage.

They _really_ should have let me finish.

More silence. I heard their breathing, nothing more. Maybe they blinked, I don't know, that was always hard to pick up unless I really focused.

Finally Nick opened his mouth. "You can't possibly be serious. _That's_ what this is all about? Natalie, we were just screwing around this morning! I haven't given it two thoughts until just now." He waved his paw at me dismissively. "You are hereby absolved, why would you possibly think something like that was worth your life?"

I didn't even know what to say to that. A tiny flame lit in me and I found my paws gripping at my dress. "Oh, I don't know Nick, maybe I actually care about you having body autonomy. Maybe I was thinking about how I was going to have to wake up and think 'yup, I stole my first kiss from my unwilling baby sister's boyfriend' every day for the rest of my life." I grit my teeth. "Maybe I was thinking that I might do something good for once in my miserable fucking life!"

"Wait, your first kiss? You said-"

"Natalie, that's completely insane!" Janet shot back, cutting off Nick with surprising force. "What, you think that killing yourself would be a _good_ thing? What about Mom, and Dad, and your four hundred siblings who all love you! We'd be absolutely devestated!"

I got to my feet and turned to her. "Don't you dare pull that shit! Janet are you even listening to yourself? We're not some TV wolf family, we're fucking rabbits! Like you said, there's _four hundred_ of us!" I felt my paws shaking. "We're not a family, we're a community at best."

I felt my claws dig into my hands as my grip tightened, saying what everyone knew and no one wanted to admit. "I am a miserable, useless, blind bunny who does nothing all day but sit alone in a hole in the wall jerking off and occasionally telling someone to buy a new phone. I'm an easily replaceable cog in the machinery of Hopps Farms that no one ever talks to unless they have to."

I hugged at my chest, ears falling flat. "No one cares about someone like that. No one could... Or should."

 I heard the fox's fur shift. Standing on end I guess. a tiny snarl escaped his lips. "That's a load of crap! Nat. We obviously care-"

"No! You don't!" I shouted. I felt my gorge rising. "You don't care about _me_. You care about the suicidal girl. You care about your lover's sister. You care about those things because you want to be the good guy, and that's good! You're good for the world, pick up your gold star at the office of 'who gives a crap'!"

I couldn't stand up anymore. I fell down on the couch and cradled my head in my hands. "But you don't care about Natalie Hopps. You _can't_ care about her... I haven't given you a reason to."

There was a long, long pause.

Nick walked over and gripped my paw in his. "That's not true."

I blinked my useless eyes at him. "What are you-"

"Remember 'Welcome to it', that's why I care."

Okay now I was completely lost. I yanked my paw away, the last thing I wanted to touch was him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

I heard the fox's lip curl up (well, the fur around his mouth shifted, look you get the audio). "You welcomed me into the family little miss tech support. No one else did that, not even my bro Janet. No offense."

"What? Uh, None taken." My sister returned.

Nick let out a breath. "I don't want to lose Natalie Hopps. Losing the first person who made me feel at home with the family of the woman I love is not some general do-gooder impulse. It's personal. I want _you_ to live Nat. It's as simple as that."

I slid back. He... He had a point... but it still didn't change anything. "Nick... You are very, very sweet, but I don't _deserve_ your care. I hurt you. You should probably be arresting me right now and shoving me on the sex offender registry or... I don't know, something!"

Nick didn't like that. "Okay, two things. One, you didn't hurt me."

"Yes! I did!" I cried. "I physically hurt Judy! And frankly, you being just fine with some stranger touching you when they didn't ask permission just implies that I've reinforced a belief that anyone in the world can do whatever they want to you..." I gulped. "And there are way stronger mammals than me who could take advantage of that."

He paused, considering this. "Okay... Yes, what you did wasn't great... But it was just a make out mistake okay? We got physical and didn't talk boundaries."

"Yes we did!" I said crossing my arms. "One kiss on the lips, that was the perverse arrangement I entrapped you in. And I went even further than that."

"You didn't entrap me! I consented to your little game. Freaking Judy, who by the way is used to taking hits from a fucking elephant in sparring matches, was the one who said I should just do it and get over with it. She doesn't care! She didn't even care about me..." The fox groaned, rubbing at his temples. "Look, I get it. Consent stuff is... complicated. But I'm way more concerned about the way you're talking about yourself! A stupid mistake isn't worth throwing your life away over."

"Then Arrest me!" I cried. "That seems a fucking fair compromise."

"No." The fox replied flatly, "Not going to happen."

I threw out my arms. "Why?"

He groaned. "First of all, good luck making that charge stick. Secondly, Natalie, have you been to prison? I have. Sending you there will not make the world better in any way. We just use it to hurt people, not help them become like productive members of society or anything..." The fox sighed. He fidgeted with his paws. "That would be fuckin' crazy, eh?"

Suddenly I felt like I had walked in on something very personal. His heart was beating faster. "Um... Nick?"

The fox shook himself. "The point is, you don't come out of it _better_ , not unless... Not unless you're crazy strong. And care about what you've done. And care about the people around you. And have hope and stuff..."

My ears twitched in confusion. "Uh...?"

The fox shook himself. "Sorry... I'm an old guy okay? Sometimes I get lost in memories. What I'm trying to say is that locking you up wouldn't do anyone any good.  And for the record, yeah, I lock people up a lot," He looked down. "Probably more than I should... Sometimes I even know it's not going to end well or help anyone, but I have to, because in some stupid way the system would collapse if I didn't."

The fox snarled, slamming his thumb into his chest. "But this time _I'm_ the victim. This time _I_ get to choose. You want a punishment? Here it is." He lifted up my sword and shook it for good measure. "This is mine now."

My blood ran cold. That... That was _my_ sword! I'd bought at the fair it ages ago, back when I could still even see it a little and it had been making me feel safe ever...

I didn't want it to go. I wanted to go to jail... It was a much harsher punishment.

But fair.

I lowered my paw. I'd barely even noticed that I'd raised it. My ears fell back. "Okay."

The fox stowed my blade in his belt. I felt my heart sink a little. I didn't think it had any further down to go.

Nick extended two fingers. "That's part one Nat, part two is you getting help. You're not hurting the person who welcomed me into this family again, not on my watch."

I sniffed, my eyes were starting to water again. I almost wanted to laugh. "There's no one on Earth who can help me Nick."

"We'll see."

_Nick_

The next hour or so was... Complicated.

Natalie agreed to my terms and calmed down a little, at least enough for us to call the rest of the Hopps clan and put her on suicide watch. She was pissed about that, and I couldn't blame her really, but it was the best we could do.

We offered first watch, but Natalie she said she needed some space from us and it was obvious Janet was beat. My newly dubbed bro was a tryer for sure, but she'd been through a lot today, and frankly she didn't have the stamina of her more athletic siblings.

So we left Natalie in the care of a genuinely concerned looking buck with intense eye makeup and piercings (of course Goth bunnies were a thing), and I found myself seriously considering picking up Janet and carrying her given how much she was dragging her feet as we wandered the tunnels to our rooms.

"So..." She said, vaguely as she stifled a yawn. "Are you going to name the sword? It seems all significant and stuff."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" Natalie's pig sticker was still stuck in my belt. I suppose it would look cool if you had no idea why I had it, but honestly it just made me sick to look at. I frowned. "This hunk of junk doesn't deserve a name. It hurt my friend-"

"Family." Janet corrected with a weary smile. "Like it or not you're totally in now."

I sighed. "Janet, Judy may well have just dumped me. Frankly I'm starting to wonder if I deserved it."

Janet rolled her eyes. "I dunno what's going through my sister's head, but any idiot could see she's crazy about you. That sort of thing doesn't die in a day. Besides, it's too late. You sat down with us, hung out, proved you were crazy enough to be with us weirdos and survive..." She grinned at me. "Sorry pal, but y'all are a Hopps. There ain't no backing out of that."

It was a warming, heartfelt statement that fed a hunger I'd been ignoring for a long, long time... But I couldn't help but snicker at the way she'd said it. "You get an accent when you're tired bro... Sis, whatever."

Janet just snorted. "Y'all are in the sticks pal, we all get something from it."

I smirked. "What did Judy get?"

"Unconscious prejudice."

"Fair enough."

Finally we reached the guest room that Judy and I shared. Janet's ears perked up when she saw it. "Hang on one sec." She ran up to the door and ran her chin all over the Knob. I picked up an odd scent.

I tilted my head at the strange scene. "Um... Janet? What are you doing?"

She pulled back from the door, looking more than a little embarrassed. "Just... You know, reserving the room. Letting people know that even if Judy is dumb enough to... You know. We aren't kicking you out on the street." She gulped. "You're my guest too now."

It was touching, it was deep... It was too good an opportunity to ignore. I felt my most mischievous smirk crawling up my face. "Why Jan, are you saying you've fallen for me?"

She blinked. "... Huh?"

I held up my paws. "I'm sorry! I must resist! I have taken a vow of chastity!"

The bunny twitched. "What? Chastity? You still smell like...! Wait!" The bunny narrowed her eyes. "I am not hitting on you."

I let my eyes get bigger, more wistful. "It's for the best. My father would never let me marry a One Piece fan!"

"Oh don't you bring One Piece into thi..." She froze, staring behind me.

I turned around. There they were Judy and Gideon, both looking like they'd been caught with their paws in the cookie jar.

I froze. Judy grimaced, staring at the floor. "Hi Nick... I... I fucked up big time."

I let out a breath. "I- I know what that's like." I turned to the fox I'd just screamed at and bit my lip "Hey Giddy."

He nodded, stiffly. "I... I know you told me to stay away. If you want me to go now I-"

I held up a paw. "No... We should talk. We should all talk." I opened the door to our room and shot my bro an apologetic look. "Jan, can you give us some space?"

She nodded. "Do... Do you guys want to use the quiet room?"

I groaned. "At this point I think I'd rather staple my tail to my junk than look at that place again. I'd rather-"

I couldn't help but notice that a large number of large ears had appeared at the end of the hallway.

I buried my face in my paws. _Fuck..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. Recent events in politics genuinely scared me, plus this was a hard chapter to write both mechanically and emotionally.
> 
> Special thanks to hellogaywatson for providing much needed pre-reading. Their profile can be found here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/hellogaywatson/pseuds/hellogaywatson
> 
> If you're a Marvel fan, go check it out!


	10. Finally

_Judy_

_A few minutes ago_

"Oh god, sweetie! I just..."

"Mom, it's okay."

"No, it's not! I didn't pay enough attention. I didn't notice Natalie's pain and I just froze when that gun got shoved in your face. I -"

"Mom, listen to me. I'm okay. Natalie is okay."

"She is... Thanks to Nick... Oh sweet heavens Judy, you grab that fox and you never let go.  You hear me?"

"Okay Mom. Okay... let's get you to bed."

_Gideon_

Nick sighed and planted his face in the cushions of the quiet room's couch. "I hate this place... I hate it, I hate it. I _hate_ it."

He turned his head to Judy. "When we get back home, we should convert the storage closet into one."

I raised an eyebrow. "I thought you hated this place."

He rolled over onto his back, deflating. "It's like a toilet. Gross, but deeply necessary."

"Does... does that mean you're not dumping me?" Judy managed finally.

Nick sat up. "Of course not. Carrots, all you did was make out with Giddy. That's like, nothing." He shrugged. "The dude is kissable. I should know."

He turned to me. "And Giddy... Look, I'm truly sorry about what I said earlier, okay? You don't deserve to have your actions as a  little kit hang over you for the rest of your life. That said," His next words came out in a choke. "It's probably best we just be friends."

I felt like an icicle had been shoved through my heart... But I nodded.

He clasped his hands together. "Whelp, glad that's settled! Man it's late. C'mon Judy, we should get to bed and-"

"Nick stop." Judy cut him off. Her eyes were filled with steel. "Don't just brush this off."

Nick blinked. "Judy, I just _forgave_ you. Problem over, no big deal, can we just-"

" _Nick_ ," The tiny rabbit said with startling force. "You are not fine with this. We can't just pretend it didn't happen." Her voice softened. "Please... Just please don't lie about how you feel."

The older fox twitched. "Lie... You think I'm lying to you!?" He snapped. "Carrots, I'm not lying about anything! Okay, sure, I'm a bit pissed at you for making out with another guy behind my back. I'm a bit pissed at Giddy for going along with it."

He threw out his arms. "But if you haven't fucking noticed, I'm stupid in love with both of you and I know that no matter how pissed I get at you... At _either_ of you..."

He sighed. Suddenly he looked very, very old. "Look... I just had to talk a friend down from killing herself tonight okay? I don't want to have this fight. I just..." He looked down. "I know I'm going to forgive you eventually, so why not now..."

He curled up. "I want my Judy... I want my Giddy... And to be totally honest I'm the one that doesn't deserve either of you."

Okay, _that_ was a new one. "What in the hay are you talking about?"

Nick let out a low groan of frustration. "What I'm talking about is the elephant in the room. You two keep beating yourselves up and taking crap from others over stupid little mistakes, when after prison _I'm_ the one who robbed people. _I'm_ the one who lined Big's pockets while he murdered people. _I'm_ the one who let my heart harden into a little tiny pea and forgot everything I learned from... From..." He turned to me.

He fell to his knees. He wasn't quite crying, but the tears were there. "God Giddy... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I let you down."

It was too much. I got right down with him and pulled him into a hug. "Nick..."

There was no hustler in him right then. No smooth talker, no knight in shining armor.

He was just a scared crying kit who needed comfort. And I'd be damned if I wasn't going to give it to him.

He gripped me tightly. "I... I don't deserve this."

I gripped him back. "You listen good. There ain't no one in this world who doesn't deserve a hug when they're crying. There ain't no one in the world who doesn't deserve _love_."

I poked my head up, and I kissed him on the forehead. "And you deserve so much more than the average joe. If you don't see that, then I will hold you here until you do."

I wrapped my tail around him. He did the same for me. You wouldn't think that little extra bit of fluff would matter, but dang did it warm me up.

But something wasn't right. I glanced over to the side. Nick, curious, followed my gaze.

And there was Judy, standing there with a mix of an adoring look and... well I dunno. It was hard to read, there was some joy and some sadness and I couldn't figure out where one ended and the other began.

She started shifting to the door. "Maybe you two need this space more than me right now. I can-"

"Judy get in here." Nick said suddenly.

The little bunny paused. "Nick?"

The fox in my arms went rigid in fear. He gulped. "We should do this together. I... I don't know what this is, but want you to be a part of this."

He turned to me, questioning.

I nodded.

The little bunny leapt to us in a grey streak, wrapping her paws around us in a flurry of joyful energy, adding her warm, spicy scent to our mix.  "Oh my gosh... Oh my gosh. Thank you! Thank you both..."

Her tears started coming too. I shushed her gently and Nick snuggled his head into hers.

There was a long, warm pause.

Judy gave us a squeeze. "Is... are we doing what I think we're doing? Can... Can this actually work?"

Nick looked over to the side. "I... I think this might work really well." He lowered his head. "That is, if I don't fuck it up."

"Or, I don't fuck it up." I added.

"Don't forget me. I can fuck things up too." Came the rabbit...

Honestly, hearing Judy Hopps drop the F bomb was so perplexing it knocked me entirely out of my spiral of self pity. I slid back a bit and put my paws on their shoulders. "Look, absolutely everyone fucks up okay? Odds are, at some point we're gonna get into a row, and we'll have to work it out."

I squeezed their shoulders. "But I think we can handle it. And... I think it's worth it to try."

Nick looked to me, then Judy, and pulled us in tight. "I love you... I love both of you so much!"

It didn't sound stupid at all.

#

_Nick_

The rush was over, we were out of the room and now, finally, it was time to get some sleep.

We were all half drunk with exhaustion, emotional and otherwise, barely talking as we made our way down the hall. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though, just a drained one.

"Here." Judy said finally, squinting at the door numbers in the dim, winding halls. "Now we can finally..."

She sniffed at the knob, then turned to me puzzled. "Wait... Is that Janet's scent?"

I managed a smirk. "Good sister you've got there."

She smiled back. "I guess so." She frowned. "Um...Nick? Would it be okay if Gideon stayed the night? I mean, if you want to." She added the last part hastily, turning her gaze to the chubby young fox.

I swear, Giddy somehow managed to turn redder. "I... Ah mean..."

I put a paw on his shoulder. "It's okay, you don't have to." I turned to Judy. "Carrots, as much fun as that would be it would be a bit like eating desert before your dinner."

Her ears fell. "I didn't mean like... It's just that..."

Giddy's eyes lit up. "Oh! Y'all want sleepy cuddles."

She nodded.

I made an uncertain noise. I really didn't want to screw this up. "Don't get me wrong, that sounds pretty awesome, but it still seems a little fast."

She shot me the sad puppy dog eyes. "Pleeease..."

My heart fluttered. _Dang beautiful bunny eyes..._

I thought about it. I guess we _had_ just gone through a massive relationship "juice cleanse". So I shrugged. "Oh fine what the heck. Giddy, you coming?"

He nodded. "Yes sir!

And then we went to bed.


	11. Snuggles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not explicit, but I might call it suggestive.

 

_Judy_

I awoke in a king sized mattress sandwiched snugly between two foxes clad only in boxers passionately making out.

Today was going to be a good day.

I tilted my head up and smirked at... wow, I guess my boys. "Having fun?"

Nick and Gideon blushed and backed off from each other. The baker was the first to find his voice. "Oh! Uh... sorry Judy."

Nick shrugged. "What can I say? He's kissable."

I snuggled in between them. "That he is..."

I bit my lip, suddenly realizing what I said. "I mean, Um..." I groaned. "I'm sorry."

Nick frowned. He leaned down and nuzzled me on the forehead. "Hey," He said, "I was hoping it was implied, but considering we are all officially in a relationship now, it is totally okay if you kiss Giddy." He made an uncertain noise. "If Giddy wants to, that is."

I looked up at the sweet fox baker. He looked so nervous. I took his paw in mine. I gulped. How had this been so easy before? "So... Would you like to?"

He seemed to think it over for a moment, then smirked. "Might as well finish the thought."

And then he kissed me.

His lips tasted warm and... Okay, that's it. I'd love to say it was spicy, or chocolaty or whatever, but the taste wasn't the point. I shivered with pleasure as I ran my tongue over his canines.

I couldn't believe it, the man who'd reminded me change was real. That kind, lost soul who I never got a chance to know before...

He had an _excellent_ tongue. We quickly became acquainted.

I felt Nick, my smooth talking, loyal partner behind me, nibbling lightly at the nape of my neck while the fox in front of me explored my mouth. They ran their paws over my back and front. Gideon exploring, Nick caressing.

It was heavenly. It was breath taking. It was...

It was causing a reaction that was quite obvious to sensitive canid noses.

My ears went crimson and I ducked my head out from the impromptu makeout session, squeezing my legs firmly together. "Sorry! I'm so sorry, I never meant to... Maybe I should-"

Nick took my hand. "Judy. It's okay."

My ears fell. "Nick I..."

He pulled me into a hug. "Hey... You got aroused. It happens when hot boys kiss you. It's okay."

I bit my lip. "I... I know, it's just..." I turned to Gideon, who was looking on with confusion and concern. "I don't want to spring anything on you okay? Just because I get a bit more, um, aromatic sometimes, it's not like a demand or anything."

I shrunk down slightly, looking up at my new paramour. "I just... I want you to know this is about caring, not just sex."

Gideon smiled, he put a paw on my cheek, just like before. "Judy it's okay, I know you want me for more than a roll in the hay. Last night proved that."

He looked away, his ears drooping. "But... You do know that I have... I mean, I'm not in this for your body or anything, but if you ever wanted to make each other feel good... Um, I..."

Nick pulled the Judy sandwich closer together. He had an absolutely fiendish look in his eyes, and let us say that there were certain things making themselves known at the small of my back. "Oh really Giddy? Because now that you mention it, there's a rather obvious fantasy that this predicament makes readily available to us."

I took his meaning and rolled my eyes. "Seriously Nick? What happened to the whole 'eat your veggies before desert' speech?"

He whimpered like a pup. "I know, but come on! We're in a _triad_. We have hot and cold running three-ways in our future, you can't tell me that isn't a _little_ enticing."

Gideon chuckled and gave me a knowing look. "I guess the old horn dog is back."

Nick looked positively sheepish at this accusation. "I'm not a _horn dog_ , I'm just..." His muzzle drew into a smirk and he gave Gideon a wink "a connoisseur of the carnal arts."

Gideon propped his head up on his elbow. "Sweetie, y'all had sex yesterday _and_ the day before that, and now you're hankerin' for more. Where I'm standin' that's a bit more gourmand than gourmet."

Nick ran a finger down my ear and cupped Gideon's cheek in his paw. "My sweet, I assure you both specimens were of gourmet quality."

It was hard to tell if Gideon was blushing, but it sure felt like he was. "You reckon so?"

Nick gave him a  peck on the nose. "Yes, yes I do."

I let out a little squee.

The foxes looked down, I looked away embarrassed. "Sorry, this is just way too cute."

Nick scoffed. "Oh, so _you're_ allowed to call _us_ cute."

I snorted, "Reverse racism does not exist sweetie." I snuggled into his fur. The faint scent of his warm, apple-y cologne mixed with Gideon's musk of fresh cut hay and flour was intoxicating...

Or I guess it would have been if it wasn't for my scent. Sweat, morning breath, and lust...

Nick seemed to notice my souring mood and brushed gently at the fur of my cheek. "Judy, you have the most beautiful amethyst eyes I've ever seen."

I snorted. "Half the family has eyes like that."

"No, they don't." he said. "Not like yours, they aren't half so caring and brave."

I felt a tap on my ear and I rolled over to face Gideon. He had a soft smile on his face. "My turn." He said. "Judy, you are the strongest, most determined person I know." He looked down, "You've inspired me, and I'd bet my last dollar Nick and I aren't the only ones who are better off with you in our lives."

I felt a flutter in my chest. "Gideon..."

"OH MY GOD!!!"

One of my brothers kicked in the door, startling us all.

"Seriously!" He shouted, waving his pillow indignantly. "You're even more sickeningly saccharine than Alice and Marcy! Just bang already and be done with it!"

He tugged on his ears. "And for the sake of us who are trying to sleep next door,  _Do it quietly!_ "

That said, he left in a huff, muttering to himself.

There was a long, long pause.

"That guy has anger issues." Gideon said finally.

My ears drooped. "Yeah... Marcus gets a little stressed sometimes."

"Want to get up now?" Nick asked.

"It would probably be for the best."

#

_Nick_

Feeling tired and exceptionally blue-balled, I wandered downstairs with the others to get breakfast. I looked around for Natalie but she was nowhere to be seen.

To be fair, the clock only read seven thirty, so I hardly thought it was time to panic just yet.

The Hopps dining hall was a truly impressive affair. Most of the tunnels in the warren were covered in wallpaper or tapestries or what have you, and you could pretend you were just in a basement somewhere,  but in the dining hall the true scale and origins of the place were revealed.

When I'd first started dating carrots, she'd told me that her warren was mostly culvert (concrete structures buried below the ground), but some of it was simply dugout, like the burrows of old.

The ceiling there was three times as tall as I was and the floor was polished bedrock. Huge wooden struts held the dirt away and it was ringed with the chimneys of old fashioned cook fires. The seating was on huge stained wooden benches that had clearly been hand carved ages ago.

The modern cafeteria counter and rabbits chatting on cell-phones were honestly a little incongruous.

"Okay!" Said the brown rabbit behind the counter (Steve, I think). "I've got two special orders for you three."

Judy tilted her head. "Special orders?"

He smirked, "Please, like I'm the only one who's not allowed to spoil my favorite sister. Behold!" He produced a blender containing a brown, slightly pink tinted concoction.

Judy balked. "Wait, a _Milkshake_? Steve my cheat day was yesterday."

Her brother held up a paw. "I know, I know, nothing but Kale smoothies and multi-vitamins for you, but _this_ ," He gestured to the blender. "Is for science. We're never going back to Honey Bunnies ever again and I'm trying to replicate their formula."

I blinked. Honey Bunnies...? Why did that sound-

Judy's eyes bugged out. "Steve, are you nuts? You can't just replace the Honey Bunnies triple chocolate raspberry milkshake! It was just a misunderstanding! I would never deprive my family of-"

"Yeah, no." Steve cut her off. "No one here is ever going to that roach trap again. I had to talk Roger out of showing up with a baseball bat."

Of all the things to say to that, all I could think of was: "Wait? This Roger guy thought a baseball bat was going to win against a shotgun?"

Steve scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, my husband's a sweetheart, but he doesn't think things through all the time." He shot me a smirk. "By the way, welcome to the queer portion of the family." His ears drooped slightly. "I know Natalie already welcomed you in general."

I tilted my head. "Wait, what? How do you know about that?"

"Sorry..." Came a very familiar voice from behind.

Now, I understand that it's offensive to call a grown rabbit (Judy notwithstanding) cute. It makes sense. Reducing someone down to their appearance is demeaning and I've worked very hard to build up a tolerance for adorableness so it couldn't overwhelm me.

But seeing Janet there, dressed in her pyjamas covered in bunny anime characters still clutching a stuffed penguin...

I couldn't help but squee.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Damnit Wilde. I am not a kit!"

Steve threw on a smirk worthy of me. "And here are your lucky chomps, my big-girl, grown-up sister." Steve said, sliding a bowl of cereal over.

Her ears drooped. "Thanks..."

Judy tilted her head. "Steve, why do you even _have_ lucky chomps? There's no way the catering committee would approve of that junk."

Janet shrugged. "I just put a box back there for emergencies. We all spend our allowance and side income somewhere."

Gideon raised an eyebrow. "You have another job? I thought you were a farmhand."

Janet looked away. "Oh, you know, I also do some freelance work online here and there... You guys want to get a table?"

I sensed there was more to the story, but I also sensed now wasn't the time to press. "Okay, sure."

"Woah, hang on a minute!" Steve interjected. "I had to beg Kathy for the milk for this stuff, you have to at least try it."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine. Hit me."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Uh Nick, no offense or anything, but I made this stuff for Judy."

"And Judy and I have an arrangement. I eat everything sugary that people give her to protect her from diabetic doom. You are impeding my noble sacrifice."

Steve looked to Judy. My girlfriend just shrugged.

The rabbit behind the counter let out a sigh. "Fine."

He poured me a shotglass. I chugged it down.

My eyes widened.

I reached right over the bunny sized counter and grabbed the blender. "Yes." I said.

#

_Judy_

We slid ourselves down to a table somewhere in the center (the dining hall was pretty empty this early in the morning) and I got the privilege of watching Nick be a total wuss about getting brain freeze.

Gideon, of course, was rubbing his shoulders. "Sweetie, I told you not to chug it like that."

"That- Was not- Voluntary!" He sputtered through the shivers.

I bumped my head against his arm and grinned. "The academy made you tough as nails, huh?"

"I must have missed m-milkshake class."

Gideon sighed and pulled Nick into his lap. "There, there sweetie, I'll warm you up."

"Dawwww..." Janet said, dramatically stretching it out.

"I know right?" Nick said, suddenly recovered.

Janet's ears fell. "Dang it Wilde, how am I supposed to get back at you?"

I shrugged. "Sorry Sis, he has absolutely no shame."

Janet smirked. "Seriously though, I'm super happy to see all of you made up." She looked away, awkwardly. "So... You're all like... _All_ together, together now?"

I reached out, to Gideon. He nodded, and I took his hand. "Yeah... I guess we are."

"Are what?" Came a voice from behind us. I turned around and smiled. "Mom! What are you doing down here so early?"

She blushed. "Oh you know me, just hovering over my kittens in the kitchen." She sighed. "And... I'll admit, last night shook me a bit."

"Any word on Natalie?" Nick asked.

Mom sat down and let out a sigh. "She's under watch now at least. It's a start..."

A bit of the joviality in the room drained away.

Giddy scratched the back of his head. "I'll say Mrs. Hopps all this sounds mighty rough. I'm really sorry you're going through it."

Mom managed a smile, "Thank's Gideon, you're a peach."

He looked away for a moment, suddenly a bit sheepish. "Uh... Also, if'n you're looking for a therapist for your daughter, I might know a few... dozen."

She nodded. "I suppose we better start going through them."

I bit my lip, Natalie and I had had our spats, but I couldn't imagine what I'd do without her. We'd gotten way too close to losing her last night and meanwhile I was off crying about a stupid relationship issue.

I felt like crap.

I pressed into Nick's side for comfort. Giddy got the same idea and rested his head on the taller fox's shoulder.

Nick smirked at the attention.

Mom flinched. "Um, dears, you might not want to do that in public."

I blinked, straightening up. "Why?" Breakfast cuddles were pretty low grade as far as public displays of affection went.

Mom looked away. "I mean, I understand if sometimes you three want to all 'play' together, but you don't want people to think that you're all _together_ , you know?"

I quirked an ear. "Mom, we _are_ all together. We worked it out last night."

Her ears flattened. "Oh."

Nick tilted his head. "Um... Mrs. Hopps?"

She got up from the table. "Pardon me, I... I need to go check on something in the kitchen."

I felt a brick forming in my stomach. "Mom?"

She already had her back turned. "I have to go."

My mind felt like a skipping record. "Mom... Mom?"

And then Janet smashed her glass into the table. "MOM! WHAT THE FUCK!?"


End file.
